Authors, English -- 20th century -- Biography; Waugh, Alec, 1898-1981
The young poet walks down the steps of the stately mansion where he has
been reading his poems aloud to bright-eyed admiration in a
softly-lighted, softly-cushioned drawing-room. He hails a taxi, and as
he sinks back into the padded seat he ponders the arid monotony of his
existence; one day is so like another. Where is the thrill, the mystery
of life? He will return to his flat. His clothes will be laid out ready
for him. His man will ask him if he will have his bath at once. He will
nod. He will undress slowly, will finish reading that review book in his
bath; he will linger over his dressing. He is dining with Mrs Spurway.
Just such another dinner-party as yesterday’s was and to-morrow’s will
be. Lady Mary will be there and he will have to find occasion to whisper
that he loves her as desperately as ever, though he knows too well how
rapidly his ardour is cooling. She is like all the rest. And through
the window he contemplates the firm, resolute back of the taxi-driver.
How he envies him. That is life. He is not tied to a circle of social
obligations. He lives outside the conventions. He is free.
The thoughts of the taxi-driver are not dissimilar. He, too, is
pondering the monotony of his existence. How the London streets resemble
one another. He has promised to take Mary Gubbins to the pictures that
evening; and he remembers that he is getting rather tired of Mary
Gubbins; she is like all the rest. He envies the gilded persons whom he
bears all day long from one scene of revel to another. It is human to
envy the conditions of another’s life. The young girl who looks from her
bedroom window on to the street below is wooed by its sense of mystery
and adventure, and the inspector of omnibus tickets pauses on the top
deck to gaze wistfully at the lighted window. It is the hunger for
experience, for variety, for a fuller life. We should all like to live a
hundred lives, to enter into the heart of every mystery, to feel every
human emotion of happiness and sorrow. That is a natural instinct. But
its present manifestation is unfortunate. There is a deep-rooted
conviction that life is only intense when it is bitter, that waitresses
and dustmen and crossing-sweepers have seen deeper into the human heart
than bank clerks and school-mistresses and lawyers, that life is only
real when it is raw.
Some years ago a mixed vermouth at the Café Royal resulted in my
inclusion in a general invitation to a studio party. An obscure musician
was celebrating his wife’s elopement. There were prodigal promises of
gin and whisky. Everyone would be there, I was informed. I had nothing
to do that evening. I went, in search of life.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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