Authors, English -- 20th century -- Biography; Waugh, Alec, 1898-1981
Slowly, an old man, he turns and walks back westward to Piccadilly. He
could not, after such a sight, endure the superficial oratory, the
unreal antagonism of the House. He must be alone on such an evening
with his thoughts. Backwards and forwards he paces up and down his long,
book-lined study. Was it she, he wonders. It was for only the merest
fraction of a second that the glare of the lamp had revealed the dark
interior. And there must be so many girls with flaxen hair and pale
cornflower blue eyes.
Not like hers, though, not quite like hers: never anywhere had he seen
such eyes, such hair. And he had learnt during the last year to know by
heart every changing light and shadow of those loved features. Surely he
could not make a mistake about her now. But even if it were she, what
then? What was a kiss after all? To some girls it meant everything.
There were some girls whose lips once yielded would be ready to
surrender all. There were others to whom a kiss was no more than the
casual brushing of a hand; who kissed out of kindliness, out of
affection. And surely she would be one of them, she who was kissed every
night before a thousand people, with the limelight on her upturned face,
by a man for whom she had on the whole almost a physical dislike. What
could kisses mean to her?
And yet how shy she had been when he had first kissed her, nearly two
years ago. She had trembled and had sat on the edge of the sofa in that
private room, her fingers plucking at her skirt, afraid to look at him.
It had passed swiftly enough, that nervousness. But she had not been
then the girl to exchange kisses lightly with any man. And if she had
become so since, the change had not been of his making.
The heavy alabaster clock on the mantelpiece strikes one. She should be
back by now. They have agreed so often that if an actress is to be fresh
for her work next day, she cannot dance away her energy, night after
night, till morning. They have talked so often of the wisdom of cutting
one’s supper parties short. “A couple of hours, darling, that’s all one
needs.” And there is a matinée next day. Surely she will be home by now.
He walks across to his desk and lifts the receiver of the telephone.
“Hammerton 5769,” he calls. The operator repeats the number. He sits
there, the receiver against his ear, waiting, waiting for the sound of
the quick, breathless voice that will put all his anxieties to sleep.
But it does not come. Perhaps she is asleep. It was selfish of him to
ring her up. She was tired and has returned straight to the flat after
the theatre. The vision in the taxi was the trick of a disordered fancy.
He will have woken her up. She will be angry with him. He will send her
some flowers in the morning and she will forgive him. But no answer
comes. And after a long delay a sleepy, masculine voice informs him that
he can “get no answer, sir.” But he is sure he has the right number?
“Yes, sir, Hammerton 5769.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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