"I regret to have to hurt your feelings," he is saying, in that awful civil voice, at which we all--small and great--quake, "but the next time that _this_ occurs" (pointing to the bill), "I must request you to find accommodation for yourself elsewhere, as really my poor house is not a fit place for a young gentleman with such princely views on the subject of expenditure." The object of this pleasant harangue is Algy, who, also standing, with his face very white, his lips very much compressed, and his eyes flashing with a furious light, is fronting his parent on the hearth-rug. Behind the tea-urn, mother is mingling her drink with tears, and making little covert signs to Algy, at all rates to hold his tongue. My mind is made up, never to be unmade again. I will marry Sir Roger. He shall pay all Algy's debts, and forever dry mother's sad, wet eyes. * * * * * The weather of paradise is gone back to paradise. This day is very earthly. There has been a sharp, cold shower, and there is still a strong rain-wind, which has snapped a score of tulip-heads. Poor, brave _Jour ne sols_! Prone they lie on the garden-beds, defiled, dispetalled. Even the survivors are stained and dashed, and the sweet Nancies look pinched and small. If you were to go down on your knees to them, they could not give you any scent. I am walking up and down the room, in a state of the utmost agitation. My heart is beating so as to make me feel quite sick. My fingers are very hot, but hardly so hot as my face. "For Heaven's sake do not make me laugh! do not!" cry I, nervously, "it would be _too_ dreadful if I were to receive his overtures with a broad grin, would not it? There! is it gone? Do I look quite grave?" I take half a dozen hurried turns along the floor, and try to think of all our most depressing family themes--father; Algy's college-bills; Tou Tou's shrunk face and thin legs; nothing will do. When I stop before the glass and consult it, that hysterical smile is there still. "Do you remember the day, when we were children, that we all went to the dentist?" says the Brat, chuckling, "and father gave Bobby a New Testament because he had his eye-tooth out? Does to-day at all remind you of it, Nancy?" "I had far rather have _both_ my eye-teeth out, and several of my double ones, too," reply I, sincerely. A little pause. "I must not keep him waiting any longer," cry I, desperately. "Tell me!" (appealing piteously to them all), "do I look all right? do I look pretty natural?" "You do not look _middle-aged_ enough," says Bobby, bluntly. "Put on your bonnet," suggests Algy. "You look twenty years older in that, particularly when you cock it well over your nose, as you did last Sunday." "You are all very unkind!" say I, in a whimpering voice, walking toward the door. "And if he becomes too demonstrative," says the Brat, overtaking me with a rush before I reach it, "say-- 'Unhand me, graybeard loon!'"