When he drew her down beside him and they rested together on the couch
she felt the hot nap of the cloth cover, stiff against her cheek. It
seemed to her that the afternoon light was terrible in the still room.
Bobby had a new canary bird and Aunt Julia had hung the cage inside the
window. The bird hopped from the perch to the cage floor, from the floor
to the perch, and the thud of its descent was monotonously reiterated.
Occasionally seeds fell in a series of ticks against the polished
wainscot. Beyond Paul's head, May looked into the pane above the bird
cage, and the glass was like a melted sun. On either side of the glowing
transparent squares, the yellow curtains were slack. May fancied that
Bobby was on the stairs and that she could hear old Nellie moving about
in the kitchen below.
The heat in the room made May cold. Paul's hot face against her cheek
burnt like ice. She was dead already, shriveled in the cold heat. She
pushed at him feebly. She could scarcely hear her own words that told
him to stop. They were just a low buzzing from her cold dead lips. Paul
was making her aware of herself, of her body that she did not know, that
now she could never forget.
He was crying. It astonished her that he was crying, but she felt
nothing except a cold burning sensation that came from the warmth of his
tears slipping across her face. She was surprised that he cried so
silently. Now he lay still against her with his face in her hair. His
stillness was too deep. She could not bear it. Her body was cramped and
stiff. She felt his heart beating against her like an echo of her own,
and above it she heard the clicking of the traveling clock on Aunt
Julia's desk, and the creaks of the woodwork on the stairway and in the
hall.
If somebody came she would lie there forever. She was dead. She wanted
to think she was dead.
But nobody came.
She shut her eyes again, and after what seemed a long time she knew that
Paul was getting up and going away from her. She closed her eyes tighter
so that she might not see him.
When he tip-toed across the room he made the floor shake. May's shut
eyes with the sun on them were sightless flaming lead under her lids.
She turned a little and hid her face in a pillow, wondering where Paul
was, waiting for him to go so that she could bear it. All at once she
knew that he had come out of somewhere and was standing beside her in
the light looking down.
He leaned over and whispered, "Get up, May! Somebody 'ull come in and
find you lying there!"
His voice was frightened. She wondered why he was afraid. It made her
sick with his fright. He added, "I love you."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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