Narrative and Miscellaneous PapersDe Quincey, Thomas
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Narrative and Miscellaneous Papers
De Quincey, Thomas
English essays; English fiction
At this stage of her progress, and whilst the agonizing question seemed
yet as indeterminate as ever, Kate's struggle with despair, which had
been greatly soothed by the fervor of her prayer, revolved upon her in
deadlier blackness. All turned, she saw, upon a race against time, and
the arrears of the road; and she, poor thing! how little qualified could
_she_ be, in such a condition, for a race of any kind; and against two
such obstinate brutes as time and space! This hour of the progress,
this noontide of Kate's struggle, must have been the very crisis of
the whole. Despair was rapidly tending to ratify itself. Hope, in any
degree, would be a cordial for sustaining her efforts. But to flounder
along a dreadful chaos of snow-drifts, or snow-chasms, towards a point
of rock, which, being turned, should expose only another interminable
succession of the same character--might _that_ be endured by ebbing
spirits, by stiffening limbs, by the ghastly darkness that was now
beginning to gather upon the inner eye? And, if once despair became
triumphant, all the little arrear of physical strength would collapse at
once.
Oh! verdure of human fields, cottages of men and women, (that now
suddenly seemed all brothers and sisters,) cottages with children around
them at play, that are so far below--oh! summer and spring, flowers
and blossoms, to which, as to _his_ symbols, God has given the gorgeous
privilege of rehearsing for ever upon earth his most mysterious
perfection--Life, and the resurrections of Life--is it indeed true, that
poor Kate must never see you more? Mutteringly she put that question
to herself. But strange are the caprices of ebb and flow in the deep
fountains of human sensibilities. At this very moment, when the utter
incapacitation of despair was gathering fast at Kate's heart, a sudden
lightening shot far into her spirit, a reflux almost supernatural, from
the earliest effects of her prayer. A thought had struck her all at
once, and this thought prompted her immediately to turn round. Perhaps
it was in some blind yearning after the only memorials of life in this
frightful region, that she fixed her eye upon a point of hilly ground by
which she identified the spot near which the three corpses were lying.
The silence seemed deeper than ever. Neither was there any phantom
memorial of life for the eye or for the ear, nor wing of bird, nor echo,
nor green leaf, nor creeping thing, that moved or stirred, upon the
soundless waste. Oh, what a relief to this burthen of silence would be a
human groan! Here seemed a motive for still darker despair. And yet, at
that very moment, a pulse of joy began to thaw the ice at her heart. It
struck her, as she reviewed the ground, that undoubtedly it had been for
some time slowly descending. Her senses were much dulled by suffering;
but this thought it was, suggested by a sudden apprehension of a
continued descending movement, which had caused her to turn round.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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