Narrative and Miscellaneous PapersDe Quincey, Thomas
General
Narrative and Miscellaneous Papers
De Quincey, Thomas
English essays; English fiction
which a brief interval of suspense still for ever disperses into hollow
pageants of air or vapor. One deception melted away only to be succeeded
by another; still I fancied that at last to a certainty I could descry
the tall figure of Agnes, her gipsy hat, and even the peculiar elegance
of her walk. Often I went so far as to laugh at myself, and even to tax
my recent fears with unmanliness and effeminacy, on recollecting the
audible throbbings of my heart, and the nervous palpitations which had
besieged me; but these symptoms, whether effeminate or not, began to
come back tumultuously under the gloomy doubts that succeeded almost
before I had uttered this self-reproach. Still I found myself mocked
and deluded with false hopes; yet still I renewed my quick walk, and the
intensity of my watch for that radiant form that was fated never more to
be seen returning from the cruel city.
It was nearly half-past three, and therefore close upon two hours
beyond the time fixed by Agnes for her return, when I became absolutely
incapable of supporting the further torture of suspense, and I suddenly
took the resolution of returning home and concerting with my female
servants some energetic measures, though _what_ I could hardly say, on
behalf of their mistress. On entering the garden-gate I met our little
child Francis, who unconsciously inflicted a pang upon me which he
neither could have meditated nor have understood. I passed him at his
play, perhaps even unaware of his presence, but he recalled me to that
perception by crying aloud that he had just seen his mamma.
'When--where?' I asked convulsively.
'Up stairs in her bedroom,' was his instantaneous answer.
His manner was such as forbade me to suppose that he could be joking;
and, as it was barely possible (though, for reasons well known to me,
in the highest degree improbable) that Agnes might have returned by a
by-path, which, leading through a dangerous and disreputable suburb,
would not have coincided at any one point with the public road where I
had been keeping my station. I sprang forward into the house, up stairs,
and in rapid succession into every room where it was likely that she
might be found; but everywhere there was a dead silence, disturbed only
by myself, for, in my growing confusion of thought, I believe that
I rang the bell violently in every room I entered. No such summons,
however, was needed, for the servants, two of whom at the least were
most faithful creatures, and devotedly attached to their young mistress,
stood ready of themselves to come and make inquiries of me as soon as
they became aware of the alarming fact, that I had returned without her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account