Naval Occasions, and Some Traits of the Sailor-manBartimeus
History
Naval Occasions, and Some Traits of the Sailor-man
Bartimeus
Great Britain -- History, Naval -- 20th century -- Fiction; Great Britain. Royal Navy -- Fiction; Sailors -- Fiction; Sea stories, English
"Yes, and charades, and kids, and snapdragon," added the A.P. He mused
awhile reminiscently. "Christmas is rotten without kids to buck things
up."
The Day-on looked up from a book. "You’re right. I don’t feel as if it
were Christmas day—except for my head," he added reflectively.
The First Lieutenant entered, holding a note in his hand. "Look here,
the Skipper wants us to have him and his missus to supper. He’ll motor
in, and"—he referred again to the note—"he’s bringing the four
youngsters—and a Christmas-tree. Wants to know if we can put up a turn
for them."
In the annals of the Service had such a thing ever happened before? The
Mess stared wild-eyed at one another. "Crackers," gasped the Day-on,
visions of childhood fleeting through his mind. "Santa Claus!" murmured
the Young Doctor, already mentally reviewing his store of cotton-wool.
"Holly and mistletoe," supplemented the Engineer-Lieutenant, eyeing the
bare walls of the Mess.
There was much to be done, but they did it somehow. The A.P. sallied
forth and stole crackers from a Mission schoolroom. The First
Lieutenant and Young Doctor between them fashioned a wondrous wig and
beard for Santa Claus. The Junior Watch-keeper is rumoured to have
uprooted (under cover of darkness) an entire holly bush from the Admiral
Superintendent’s garden, and their guests arrived to find the Mess
transformed. No sooner was supper over than the First Lieutenant
vanished, and they entered the smoking-room to find a genuine Santa
Claus, with snowy beard and gruff voice, dispensing gifts from the magic
tree. There were miraculous presents for all: Zeiss binoculars for one
(had he not been bemoaning the want of a pair on the bridge a fortnight
before?): a wrist-watch for another (it replaced one smashed while
working targets not long ago), a fountain-pen for another, a
cigarette-holder for a fourth, whose tobacco-stained fingers had long
been a subject of reproach from his Captain’s wife.
And when the tree was denuded at last, what an ambush for lurking
dragons! They were slain ultimately with a sword-scabbard by a flushed
Knight astride the champing Junior Watch-keeper. It figured further in
the tiger-shoot conducted from the howdah of an elephant—a noble beast
in whose identity no one would have recognised the grey-painted canvas
cover of a 3-pdr. gun, much less the Engineer-Lieutenant inside it.
For the matter of that, had you seen the tiger who died, roaring
terribly almost within reach of its tethered quarry (Jess, the bored and
disgusted terrier), you would never have known the A.P.—especially as he
had broken his glasses in the throes of realistic dissolution.
When it was all over, the "Skipper’s Missus" sat down at the piano, and
together they sang the old, memory-haunted Christmas hymns, the woman’s
contralto and children’s trebles blending with the voices of men who at
heart were ever children themselves.
The First Lieutenant didn’t sing. The fire needed so much attending to.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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