I resolved to have it out with Jean. There was no sense in letting
things go on like this. Jean had happiness within her grasp, for the
taking, but she persisted in writing moon-struck doggerel to a man who
apparently cared no more for her than for the post that marked the
corner of his section. Spoof's continued and deliberate neglect--I
called it neglect now----admitted no other explanation.
I spent a wakeful night thinking about this, and toward morning I got up
and retrieved the crumpled bit of paper which I had thrown into a corner
of the kitchen. I spread it out and read the lines again. A night of
reflexion had worn the edge from my indignation, and I admitted that,
from an artistic point of view, the verses were perhaps not so hopeless
as I had thought them. Indeed, they suggested a certain germ of poetic
ability. A little devil of conscience began an insurrection in my sense
of fair play, demanding to know if I could write as well myself. But I
am no poet. I took a pencil and put down the word Jean, and then set
about hunting for rhymes for it, but I could think of only two--"lean"
and "bean." Neither of these seemed to lend itself to poetic treatment.
Suddenly a whiff of memory rushing in from somewhere sent me scuttling
among old school books at the bottom of my trunk. It was a whim of mine
to keep my old school books, if only that in after years I might read
and appreciate the little gems of literature which, with the assistance
of a phlegmatic teacher, I cordially hated when a child. Here it was--an
old Ontario Reader with a sensational story about an Indian woman who
killed a bear with a butcher knife, or some such weapon. My sympathy, I
remember, had always been with the bear, doubtless because of the
picture which was made to represent the Indian woman. I had read this
story again and again, when all other passages in the book had failed to
interest me, and some little long-forgotten cell of memory said I would
find a fragment of paper tucked between these pages. Sure enough, there
it was! I drew it out eagerly, but tenderly and almost reverently, and
held it under the lamp. How that strange, childish scrawl seemed to run
all over my heart and pucker it into little gasping pockets! I could
feel a thumping between my lungs and the hard beating of my pulse went
throbbing through the paper in my fingers.
When I am old
And very tall
I hope my name
Will be Mrs. Hall.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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