She went back to her station in the corner, and made me sit down beside
her. "There, that's better," she said. "You think I'm a wild woman, and
pretty much of a fool. Let's pass the first count. On the second we
agree. Now I'll give you the whole story without frills.
"You know, of course, why I cancelled our engagement. We've covered that
ground; no use plowing it again. I believed I loved Spoof; I hoped he
loved me. But since Jack's wedding he had avoided us. I have been in a
torture of uncertainty. After our talk yesterday I couldn't stand it any
longer.
"I woke up this morning, about five o'clock, thinking of him, and as I
thought a vague, wild plan which had been haunting me took form. If
Mohammed wouldn't come to the mountain, the mountain would go to
Mohammed. You see, I have reversed the figure, as is right in this case.
It was a wild idea, but once I got it clearly in my head there was
nothing to do but go through with it. I knew I would be found out; I
knew all that you and Jack and Marjorie would think, even if you didn't
say it. But there comes a time when none of these things matter--do you
understand? . . .
"So I dressed as quietly as I could, and slipped out. It wasn't snowing
then; the stars were bright and numberless; I got my bearings and struck
out. As I passed your shanty I stopped at your window. All was dark and
still. 'Dear old boy,' I whispered against your window pane, 'I wish
things were different--but they're not.'"
She had laced her fingers again about her knees, but now she dropped the
hand next to me, and it fell on mine. There was nothing surreptitious
about it; it was deliberate, designed, aggressive.
"I had covered most of the distance before it began to snow. Then I was
in danger for a while, but I made it all right. Unfortunately, Spoof is
not an early riser. He was surprised to see me."
She stopped, and for a long while gazed into space, as though studying
what she would say next.
"Well, I proposed to him. He refused me," she said quietly.
"Refused you? . . . Do you mean that's the whole story?"
"That's the substance; I told you I would leave out the frills. You can
decorate it to your liking. One of the secrets of art is to not
over-state yourself--leave something to the imagination. The more
intelligent the audience, the more may be left to the imagination. You
are an intelligent audience, Frank."
Through my absurd concern for, I hardly knew what, her adorable
tantalization seethed in me like an electric current. And so selfish am
I--and all men--that it was some minutes before I realized that Jean had
received a knock-out blow; that she had humiliated herself to this man
Spoof; that she had placed her womanhood at his feet, and he had spurned
it. Just what it was for me to lose Jean, just that same must it be for
Jean to lose Spoof.
"And he refused you--refused you," I repeated, when this thought had
settled clearly in my mind. "Jean, I don't see how--any man--could do
that."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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