Lacking interest in anything but himself, terrorized by the fear of
existence, the psychopathic patient lives a dreary, monotonous life
out of which he seeks to escape. Monotony, _ennui_, indifference
form the curse of his life. The patient is in a frantic condition,
constantly in quest of interests which he cannot enjoy. Nothing can
interest him, because he has no other interest but himself, and
that is so narrow, that it can hardly fill existence.
As a matter of fact he is afraid to meet his fears, he is afraid
of himself. He is afraid to come to a decision, never at peace,
ever at war with himself. He is bored with himself, wearied with
everything and with everybody. He is constantly eager to find
new pastures and new excitements, so as to fill with some living
interest his poor, narrow, mean, short existence obsessed by fear,
misery, wretchedness, and brutish selfishness.
The patient is afraid to work, because it may “fatigue and
exhaust” him, and may bring about a state of disease, while he
looks for health. He has no interest, because he only thinks of his
little self, reduced to digestion, evacuation, and sleeping. The
psychopathic patient leads an inactive existence of a sluggard, a
lazy, idle existence of a parasite, and still he is driven to life
and activity which, from the very nature of his narrow, parasitic
individuality, he can no longer enjoy. He has the ideals of a hero
and lives the life of a coward. This puts the patient in a state
of dissatisfaction, discontent, and ceaseless contest with himself
and others. Fear and self never leave him at peace. He is ever in a
state of agitation, restlessness, and anxiety.
Obsessed with the anxious fears of self-impulse, the patient avoids
the terrors of life, and drags the grey, monotonous existence of
a worm. Hence there is a tendency in the psychopathic patient to
be on the lookout for ever new energetic personalities, lean on
them, suck out all the energies he possibly can, then reject his
new friends unhesitatingly and brutally, and be again in search for
new personalities who can disperse, for ever so brief a time, the
fearful monotony and dread of his miserable, psychopathic, neurotic
existence.
The neurotic patient may be characterized as a psychopathic leech,
or truer still, a psychopathic vampire. For it is on the life and
blood of other people that the psychopathic ogre is enabled to
carry on his bewitched, accursed, narrow, selfish existence, full
of terror and anguish of life.
“When the attack is on,” exclaimed a psychopathic patient, affected
with cardiac palpitation and intense fear, “I am too d----d scared
about myself to think about her!” referring to the woman with whom
he was in love. The psychopathic patient is a parasitic ogre with
an hypertrophied ego.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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