“This fear has been spreading and has become quite extensive,
involving my family, my children, my friends, my acquaintances, and
my patients. Usually I ignore these fears, or get control over them
by an effort of will. When, however, I happen to be fatigued, or
worried over small things in the course of my work, or happen to be
in low spirits by petty reversals of life, these fears may become
aroused. Under such conditions I may become afraid, for instance,
of drinking milk, because it may be tuberculous.
“This fear may spread and involve fear for my children and my
patients; or again I may be afraid of eating oysters and other
shell fish, because they may be infected with typhoid fever
germs. I may refuse to eat mushrooms, because they may be
poisonous. The other day I was actually taken sick with nausea
and with disposition to vomiting after eating of otherwise good
mushrooms. The fear seized on me that they all might be poisonous
‘toadstools.’ Such fears may extend to ever new reactions and to
ever new associations, and are possibly the worst feature of the
trouble.
“I have a fear of coming in contact with strangers, lest I get
infected by them, giving me tuberculosis, influenza, scarlet fever,
and so on. This mysophobia involves my children and my friends,
inasmuch that I am afraid that strangers may communicate some
contagious diseases. A similar fear I have in regard to animals,
that they may possibly be infected with rabies, or with glanders,
or with some other deadly, pathogenic micro-organism. I am afraid
of mosquito bites, lest they give me malaria, or yellow fever.
The fears, in the course of their extension, may become ever more
intense and more insidious than the original states.
“As a child I had some bad experiences with dogs; I was attacked
by dogs and badly bitten. Although this fear is no longer so
intense as it was in my childhood, still I know it is present. My
heart sometimes comes to a sudden standstill, when I happen to
come on a strange dog. When the strange dog growls and barks, all
my courage is lost, and I beat an inglorious retreat. It is only
in the presence of other people that I can rise to the effort of
walking along and apparently paying no attention to the dog. This
is because I fear the opinion of others more even than I fear the
growls of dogs. My social and moral fears are far greater than my
purely physical fears.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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