Occasionally there are situations in which the ordinary relations of
parent and child have been completely reversed, and the children have
assumed responsibility for the management of the home and the family.
For instance, the Juvenile Court was asked by the neighbors to
investigate conditions in a Polish family, in which a six-year-old boy
was said to be neglected. The investigation showed no real neglect
from the point of view of the court, but a situation that needed
supervision.
The mother was a widow and had, besides the six-year-old boy, two
daughters aged seventeen and nineteen. Both girls were born in
Austria. The father had preceded his family to the United States, and
for five years the mother had worked and supported herself and the
children in the old country before he was able to send for them. He
seems not to have had a very good moral influence over the children,
but had been dead several years. The daughters were both supporting
the mother, who was doing one or two days' work a week. The daughters
turned over all their earnings to the mother, but said that she was a
poor manager and never had anything to show for it. They themselves
had managed to buy new furniture and clothes for themselves. They said
they were ashamed to go out with their mother, who remained
unprogressive, would not dress as they liked, and would not manage the
home as they wished. The girls told the officer that they did not take
her out with them, but gave her money to go to the "movies." Yet she
would do nothing but sit at home and cry.
At one time the boy was accused of stealing coal from a neighbor. The
oldest girl wanted her mother to investigate, but the mother would not
go near any of her American neighbors. The daughter herself found out
that the child had really taken the coal from a neighbor, and whipped
him. Gradually the daughters, especially the older one, have assumed
entire control of the family. The mother can no longer discipline even
the six-year-old boy. Since the daughter has undertaken to correct
him, he pays no attention at all to his mother. The probation officer
has tried to restore a more normal family relationship, and has tried
to help the girls to understand their mother's position. She still
speaks with pride of the five years in the old country when she
supported them alone, and when she was really of some use to them.
The older daughter threatened for some time to leave home if her
mother could not be more agreeable. When the court officer
remonstrated, she said that of course she would leave her furniture,
and could not be convinced that that would not entirely compensate.
Later she did leave home, and took some of her furniture. The family
are Catholics, but the mother no longer goes to church, and, though
the girls go, the priest seems to have had no influence over them.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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