It is not intended to assert that there were no problems with young
people in the old country, for undoubtedly there, as everywhere, some
of the young would be wayward and indifferent to the conventions. The
point is that there the mother knew what standards she was to maintain
and had, moreover, the backing of a homogeneous group to help her. In
this country not only is she herself a stranger, uncertain of herself,
not sure whether to try to maintain the standards of her home or those
that seem to prevail here, but the community of which she is a part is
far from being a homogeneous group and has apparently conflicting
standards. The immigrant mother, then, has to decide in the first
place what standards she will try to maintain.
The old standards can scarcely be maintained in a modern community
where the girls go to work in factories, working side by side with
men, going and coming home in the company of men. It is manifestly
impossible for the mother to watch her daughter at work. In the old
country this was possible as long as she stayed on the farm. And when
at school and at work she is constantly thrown with men, it is
impossible to regulate her social hours by the old standards and to
see that they are all spent under her mother's eye. Moreover, any
attempt to do so is likely to provoke resentment, as a girl naturally
thinks that if she can take care of herself at work she is equally
well able to do so at play.
Furthermore, the character of the recreation has undergone almost as
great a change as the character of the work. With the change from the
country to the city, it has already been suggested that the old group
life with its simple pleasures, which the whole family shared, has
become impossible. If the mother then tries to see that her daughter
has social life in which she herself may share, she either cuts her
off from most of the normal pleasures of young people of her age, or
the mother finds herself in places where she is not wanted, and where
no provision has been made for her entertainment.
Most immigrant parents, except those from southern Italy, recognize
the impossibility of maintaining the old rules of chaperonage and
guardianship of the girls. One of the Slovak women with whom we
conferred said that in all her circle of acquaintance there was only
one mother who was attempting to bring her daughter up by the old
standards and was not allowing her to go places in the evening where
the mother might not accompany her. All the others were allowing their
daughters more freedom than they thought desirable, but they did not
know what else to do.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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