Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Married women -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Widows -- Fiction
Her husband made no answer. Her heart jumped convulsively; then she
lifted her eyes and saw that he was asleep. How placid his face
looked--years younger than when he was awake! The immensity of her
relief rushed over her in a warm glow, the counterpart of the icy sweat
which had sent her chattering homeward from the fire. After all, if he
could fall asleep, fall into such a peaceful sleep as that--tired, no
doubt, by his imprudent walk, and the exposure to the cold--it meant,
beyond all doubt, beyond all conceivable dread, that he knew nothing,
had seen nothing, suspected nothing: that she was safe, safe, safe!
The violence of the reaction made her long to spring to her feet and
move about the room. She saw a crooked picture that she wanted to
straighten, she would have liked to give the roses another tilt in their
glass. But there he sat, quietly sleeping, and the long habit of
vigilance made her respect his rest, watching over it as patiently as if
it had been a sick child’s.
She drew a contented breath. Now she could afford to think of his outing
only as it might affect his health; and she knew that this sudden
drowsiness, even if it were a sign of extreme fatigue, was also the
natural restorative for that fatigue. She continued to sit behind the
tea-tray, her hands folded, her eyes on his face, while the peace of the
scene entered into her, and held her under brooding wings.
IV
At Mrs. Struthers’s, at eleven o’clock that evening, the long over-lit
drawing-rooms were already thronged with people.
Lizzie Hazeldean paused on the threshold and looked about her. The habit
of pausing to get her bearings, of sending a circular glance around any
assemblage of people, any drawing-room, concert-hall or theatre that she
entered, had become so instinctive that she would have been surprised
had anyone pointed out to her the unobservant expression and careless
movements of the young women of her acquaintance, who also looked about
them, it is true, but with the vague unseeing stare of youth, and of
beauty conscious only of itself.
Lizzie Hazeldean had long since come to regard most women of her age as
children in the art of life. Some savage instinct of self-defence,
fostered by experience, had always made her more alert and perceiving
than the charming creatures who passed from the nursery to marriage as
if lifted from one rose-lined cradle into another. “Rocked to
sleep--that’s what they’ve always been,” she used to think sometimes,
listening to their innocuous talk during the long after-dinners in hot
drawing-rooms, while their husbands, in the smoking-rooms below,
exchanged ideas which, if no more striking, were at least based on more
direct experiences.
But then, as all the old ladies said, Lizzie Hazeldean had always
preferred the society of men.
The man she now sought was not visible, and she gave a little sigh of
ease. “If only he has had the sense to stay away!” she thought.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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