Dames too ample in certain regions should not wear tight skirts for dancing. (Watch the next one and see what we mean.) * * * * * When a lady stops to chat at a table where men are present, she should ask the men to keep their chairs or she should sit down, so the guys won't be kept standing while she gabbles. If she does neither, she's no lady, and no man need then bother. * * * * * When a lunkhead and his twist spat in a night club, it's etiquette for him to dash after her and slip her cab fare. * * * * * Dolls who must cross their pins at ringside tables should be sure they have nice ones. * * * * * When the emcee announces that the chorines will go through the room to collect for the Red Cross, don't suddenly decide to phone. * * * * * If you have to go--or if you're coming back--while an entertainer is working, don't cross the dance-floor in front of the artist. Wait until the number is over; or, if you can, circumnavigate--flank the performer. * * * * * While dancing, don't wave to a friend at a table. You may put someone's eye out.... If your shoelace opens, don't stop on the dance-floor to tie it--move off. * * * * * If you must take somebody's phone number, write it at your table, not while on the floor. (Don't take it at all if her brute is bigger than you.) * * * * * Do not show off on dance-floors. Even if you are as hep as Fred Astaire, the other customers do not want to see you. Besides, the bouncer is not sympathetic to amateur talent. * * * * * The almost morbid desire of young women to look in mirrors brings on one of the most horrendous of all night club gaucheries ... when the sweet young things duck from their escorts every half-hour and remain away for time without limit while the escorts squirm alone. The condition is doubly disastrous when two or more young women are in the party, because whenever one goes, all go, and they stay forever while they discuss the men, who know it. * * * * * If the poetry in your soul forces you to beat time to singing or music, use your fingers, not a tablespoon. * * * * * It's atrocious taste for two females to dance together. Good spots won't permit it, though some of the claptrap caravansaries catering to tourists or sewing-circle society parties stand for it until 10. * * * * * If your escort asks you to dance, don't turn him down. If you're tired, don't make dates. But if he doesn't want to dance, DON'T BE A PEST AND BEG. * * * * *