* * * * * Gents who like to dance cheek-to-cheek, say the dolls, should be closely shaven. But one who dances cheek-to-cheek ain't no gent! * * * * * Do not table-hop in clubs. Never go to strange tables and ask women you do not know to dance. You may get a smack on the kisser. But, if you don't, you may be bounced out. It is against the law for night clubs to permit people to mix from table to table. Besides, it's corny, which is worse than illegal. * * * * * Gals should not straighten the seams of their stockings in the middle of the dance-floor. There are easier ways to attract attention to the gams. * * * * * When entering a night club, don't head for the powder-room before the captain has shown you to your table, otherwise your escort has to stand in the crowded lobby waiting for you and looking foolish (while you take the usual 45 minutes!). * * * * * When the lady says she has to go, it is customary to give her four bits for the pro in the powder-room. Which reminds us of the tale about the gal whose nose got shiny eight or ten times, night after night, at great cost to her John. After five years, she walked out on him and bought an apartment house in the Bronx. _Warning_: Most night clubs have phone booths in the ladies' room. That's where they call the guy they meet after they brush you off. * * * * * Weaklings who tend to become absent-minded after the third drink are advised to place their hat check in the upper left breast pocket. One blotto bird in a narrow night club foyer, yelling for his coat and insisting he never got a check, can hold up 300. When the checker assists the customer she is instructed to begin looking for the ducat in that pocket, working down and back therefrom. * * * * * The reverse table-hopper is as bad a pest as the original. Don't demand the acquaintances at the next table join your party. Maybe they want to be alone! * * * * * Don't stare! * * * * * Don't try to get too hot with a girl in public, or you'll wind up with the cold shoulder. If you want to hold hands, do it under the table. That's what long tablecloths are for. Don't try to hog the dance-floor, unless you want to be a pig shot. While an entertainer is working, don't turn around and tell your friends what a great pal of yours he or she is--loud enough to drown him or her out. * * * * * Dolls who understandably want to show off their fur coats in cabarets should think of a better method than to drape them over the back of the chair and onto the floor, where they become traffic hazards for passing waiters and guests. Dames who do this deserve skunk, not mink. * * * * *