19. Second from the End 169 20. Party Girls 179 21. It Could Only Happen on Broadway 182 a. The Carrot Top and the Opal 182 b. Edith Finds Love 185 c. Unto the Second Generation 187 d. The Good Deed 192 e. Gun Moll 194 22. White Way Wolves 200 23. The Noted and the Notorious 206 24. There is No Society 209 25. Hoodlums' Hierarchy 220 26. Hello Sucker! 231 27. No Pain, No Fun 236 Part Three--THE LOWDOWN (Confidential) 241 28. But You've Got to Get Here First 242 29. Room with Adjoining Blonde 250 30. Tips on the Town 259 31. Inside Stuff 270 32. Midnight Manners 277 33. Confidential Guide to New York 284 Part Four--THE APPENDIX (Confidential) 297 A. Backstage Phone Numbers 298 B. Ticket Stubs 299 C. Headwaiters' Names 301 D. Movie Company Talent Scouts 301 E. Glossary of Harlemisms 302 F. Gustatory Guide 305 INTRODUCTION P-s-s-t-- Lait and Mortimer want a word with you--confidential: The authors had a lot of fun writing these pages. And infinitely more getting what they put into them. They both turned prematurely gray becoming Broadway-wise. What you will read here they observed, absorbed, inhaled and swallowed through the years. They lived it. This tome has no message. It may be helpful, it may be useful, but never purposeful, though it attempts to offer much sound advice. But who ever followed sound advice? If folks did, there would be no more marriages, divorces, gambling, guzzling, dancing, romancing, chasing, cheating, slickers, suckers, hussies, hangmen or hangovers--heaven forbid! The "Confidential" in the title means Lait and Mortimer, who have never been in Grant's Tomb, have been in a lot of other places not so roomy, gloomy or wide open. It means they got their stuff off the record and on the up-and-up. Therefore, this is not for Aunt Katie from Keokuk, but Uncle Dave the Deacon might find it of value next time he attends a convention in New York. If you are seeking an orthodox guide or travel book about Gotham, lay this down. You will find little about the Empire State Building, Brooklyn Bridge or the $2.50 cruise around Manhattan. The shelves of stores and libraries already groan under the burden of books on those subjects.