Produced by Delphine Lettau and the Online Distributed Proofreading Canada Team at http://www.pgdpcanada.net NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOURS; _A COMEDY_; IN THREE ACTS. FROM THE French Dramas _L'Indigent_ & _Le Dissipateur_. AS PERFORMED AT THE THEATRE-ROYAL, HAY-MARKET. BY MRS. INCHBALD. LONDON: PRINTED FOR G. G. J. AND J. ROBINSON, PATER-NOSTER-ROW. M,DCC,XCI. _PROLOGUE_, BY T. VAUGHAN, ESQ. SPOKEN BY MR. BANNISTER, JUN. To PUFF, or not to Puff--that is the Question-- Puff by all means, say I, it helps digestion. To prove my maxim true, pray read the Papers-- From _Quacks of State_, to those who cure the Vapours. You'll find them, one and all, puff high their skill, Tho' nine in ten, are oft'ner found to kill.-- Yet Puff's the word, which gives at least a name, And oftener gains the _undeserving_ Fame: Or wherefore read we of _Lord Fanny's_ Taste, Of _me_--an Actor--_wonderfully chaste_! And yet so squeamish is our Lady elf, She'd rather die--than paragraph herself; So fix'd on me--the _Prologue speaking Hack_, To stop, with _Puff-direct_, the Critic Pack, Who yelp, and foaming, bark from morn to night, } And when run hard--turn tail--then snap and bite; } Putting the timid Hare-like-Bard to flight. } To such, the best and only Puff to hit, } Is that which honest CANDOUR must admit, } A Female Scribbler is an harmless Wit; } And who so harmless as our present Bard, Claiming no greater or distinct reward, Than what from free Translation is her due, Which here in fullest trust she leaves to you: With this remark--Who own their Debts with pride, Are well entitled to the Credit Side. And as for those with whom she makes so free They'll ne'er complain of English Liberty; But glory to behold their Tinsel shine, Through the rich Bullion of the English Line. Fear then avaunt! Trust to a BRITISH JURY-- With them, an honest Verdict I'll ensure you: Let Echo catch the sound--'Tis PRATT[1] enacts, You're _Judges of the Law, as well as Facts_. On this she rests her Cause, and hopes to find, As Friends, and _Next Door Neighbours_, you'll be kind; At least, this only punishment ensue, _A Frown_--and that's severe enough, from you. _Thus puff'd_--I freely to the Court commit her, Not doubting, as a Woman, you'll acquit her-- And now join issue, Sirs, without delay-- } Judging from _written Evidence_ our Play, } And--_send her a good Deliverance_, I pray. } [1: Vide, Earl CAMDEN'S celebrated and Constitutional Speech and Opinion on the subject of Libels.] _DRAMATIS PERSONÆ._ _MEN._