"Travelling some time ago in a stage-coach, an elderly lady and a gentleman sat opposite to me. It was not long before the old gentleman pulled out his snuff-box, and, giving it a tap with his finger as the manner is, asked the lady if she would take a pinch; but she declined. As the lady particularly eyed me, I could scarcely refrain from smiling.--(_most facetious!_) 'Perhaps, ma'am, you do not decline taking a pinch, because you think there is any sin in snuff-taking?' 'Oh no. I do take snuff: do YOU think there is sin in it, Sir?' 'Yes ma'am,' said I, 'I think in _some cases_ it is sinful,' (_as cases are in italics we should feel happy to know whether they are of tin or composition he alludes to, but to proceed_.) At this, the lady expressed great surprise (_as well she might_) and would not be satisfied, unless I would assign some reason for thinking that snuff-taking was sinful. At length, for she teazed me, I said to her, 'Pray ma'am, (_cannot he drop the field-preacher and write Madam_) how much in the week may you spend in snuff?' 'Perhaps 7_d._' 'And how many years have you been in the habit of taking snuff?' 'Well, I suppose,' she replied, 'upwards of forty years.' 'Seven-pence a week, you say,--that is something more than thirty shillings in the year,--and if you have taken snuff at this rate for forty years, the same will amount to more than 60_l._' 'You surprise me,--you must be mistaken, Sir.' 'No, Ma'am,' said I, 'I am not mistaken. It amounts to more than 60_l._ without the interest (_profound calculation!_) Now, do you think that God will reward you for taking snuff?' 'Reward me for taking snuff!' said she, 'No, Sir, I do not expect that.' 'But suppose, instead of spending this 60_l._ in snuff, you had spent it in feeding the hungry, clothing the naked;'"--we really can follow these opinions no further, as we have more than one old maiden lady within our ken, that would have actually _fainted_ outright at such a want of modesty. Trusting our reader will bear with us, we shall notice a little more of this self-created minister's appeal in favour of the heathens, who, doubtless, if favoured with the knowledge, could not but feel highly indebted for the exertions of so powerful an advocate in their cause. At the same time we strongly suspect, from the love he has of showing his knowledge of the tables of pence, that the writer was formerly an officiating deputy in a huckster's or chandler's shop, until seduced by the influence of the "spirit that moves" for a nobler call of action. The following is another specimen of his _figurative_ powers.