"I should think you ought to be quite open, quite plain with me. Not
pretend to care more than you did—if—but I don't think you could
pretend; you could only keep from saying much. And that might deceive
her. I could not bear to be deceived, if I were Fulvia. I would like to
know how you really felt. I should wish you to speak out."
"Even supposing—supposing you cared a little for me?"
"Yes; even supposing that!" Ethel knew that Fulvia did care, more than
a little, and she was sure from Nigel's tone that he knew it too. She
believed that Mr. Carden-Cox's anxiety to bring about the engagement
lay also in a knowledge of this fact.
"Yes," Ethel repeated firmly. "I think it would be worse, if one cared
for somebody very much, to marry him, and then to find out that he
had only proposed because he thought it right. Much worse than if one
did not care for him at all. I don't think I could ever bear it—ever
forgive him. It would be wronging Fulvia—cruelly. Oh it is always,
always, best to be quite true, quite outspoken. I am sure it is. If
you feel that you ought to propose, then you are right to propose. But
you would not be right if you allowed Fulvia to think that you cared
for her more than you do care. If it is only—only duty—she ought to
understand."
How strange it seemed to Ethel that he should come and ask her
this—ask her, as it were, to sign away her own happiness! Ethel's was
an intensely conscientious nature. She would never turn aside from
what was right merely because it gave her pain. Nigel had put this
question before her as a question of right and wrong, and she could
do what not one woman in a thousand is capable of: she could view it
dispassionately, weighing the absolute right and absolute wrong without
reference to her own desires. If Nigel had not known her to be capable
of so much, he could not have come to her for help. He came, not
because he loved, though he did love, but because he entirely trusted
her.
Fulvia's was a fine nature, yet Fulvia could not emulate Ethel here.
Self would have swayed her decision; but it did not sway Ethel's. At
the moment she did not even see a certain hope involved in her advice,
a hope which flashed quickly upon Nigel. Although she felt in the
abstract that she could not herself marry a man who should propose to
her from motives of duty, she had not the smallest doubt that Fulvia
would accept.
"That might be a way out of the difficulty," Nigel said, speaking as
if involuntarily. Ethel did not at once understand. "But would it
be—honest—right? Would it not be a mere farce? To ask her, and tell her
I do not wish it! Would it not be adding insult to injury—almost cruel?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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