"No, I think not. I mean, I think the other might be more cruel. Of
course it depends, everything depends, on how you do it. But you would
not be cruel; you would not say an unkind word. I suppose you would
not need to say much? Only just to let her know that it is not all
wish—that it is partly duty—that you will learn to feel as you ought
even if—if you don't quite yet."
There was a sound like a little gasp.
"I suppose one may conquer, always, in such a case, if one ought,"
continued Ethel, with a dim smile, and the tightness at her heart
again. "Only I do think Fulvia ought to know just so much. Sooner or
later she must, and it would be worse after—after marriage. If she
goes into it, she should go with her eyes open; not wait to find out
later—too late."
They were leaving the cemetery now, passing out into the broad road. It
was too dark for the narrow path by the river, and they had to keep to
the road, which was much deserted at so late an hour. They walked on
quietly, slowly; for Nigel seemed as if he could hardly drag himself
along. During some minutes neither spoke, and then his excessive
weariness dawned upon Ethel. She said—
"You must go the shortest way."
"When I have seen you home—perhaps."
"I would rather you should not. I am all right when we get to the
houses."
Nigel made no answer, and she knew that he did not mean to yield. She
knew it more certainly when they reached a little gate leading to a
field, for he paused and held it open.
"This way?" Ethel asked, knowing that it would lead them to the kitchen
garden behind the Rectory.
Nigel said "Yes," and she could not remonstrate. She could only let him
have his will, this once. They would have to speak that mournful word,
"good-bye," very soon—such a good-bye as they had never yet said one to
the other.
It was damp, slushy and dark, going through the meadow. Ethel's foot
slipped, and Nigel drew her hand within his arm.
"I can get on—I am all right," she said, not so steadily as hitherto,
for something in his touch unnerved her. He made no reply; and she
would not draw her hand away—would not risk adding to his pain.
Something told her that he had reached almost the outer limit of
endurance; and the consciousness of this, with the continued silence,
had a curious effect upon her. She began to tremble—to wish she might
escape. She thought of many things to say, one after another—things to
comfort him. For somehow Ethel knew, and could not help knowing, that
this death of her hopes was the death of his also. But one thing would
not do, and another she could not trust her voice to utter; and so they
went on in silence.
The silence grew at last too oppressive, and Ethel tried to break it.
"Must things be settled soon about your leaving the Grange?"
But he had no answer whatever; and then she knew that Nigel did not
speak because he could not.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account