Night watches [complete]Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
Night watches [complete]
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
Humorous stories; Short stories
I got 'ome at about a quarter to seven, and slept like a child till
pretty near four. Then I went downstairs to 'ave my dinner.
The moment I opened the door I see there was something wrong. Three
times my missis licked 'er lips afore she could speak. Her face 'ad gone
a dirty white colour, and she was leaning forward with her 'ands on her
'ips, trembling all over with temper.
“Is my dinner ready?” I ses, easy-like. “'Cos I'm ready for _it_.”
“I—I wonder I don't tear you limb from limb,” she ses, catching her
breath.
“Wot's the matter?” I ses.
“And then boil you,” she ses, between her teeth. “You in one pot and
your precious Dorothy in another.”
If anybody 'ad offered me five pounds to speak then, I couldn't ha' done
it. I see wot I'd done in a flash, and I couldn't say a word; but I kept
my presence o' mind, and as she came round one side o' the table I went
round the other.
“Wot 'ave you got to say for yourself?” she ses, with a scream.
“Nothing,” I ses, at last. “It's all a mistake.”
“Mistake?” she ses. “Yes, you made a mistake leaving it in your pocket;
that's all the mistake you've made. That's wot you do, is it, when
you're supposed to be at the wharf? Go about with a blue 'at with red
roses in it! At your time o' life, and a wife at 'ome working herself to
death to make both ends meet and keep you respectable!”
“It's all a mistake,” I ses. “The letter wasn't for me.”
“Oh, no, o' course not,” she ses. “That's why you'd got it in your
pocket, I suppose. And I suppose you'll say your name ain't Bill next.”
“Don't say things you'll be sorry for,” I ses.
“I'll take care o' that,” she ses. “I might be sorry for not saying some
things, but I don't think I shall.”
I don't think she was. I don't think she forgot anything, and she raked
up things that I 'ad contradicted years ago and wot I thought was all
forgot. And every now and then, when she stopped for breath, she'd try
and get round to the same side of the table I was.
She follered me to the street door when I went and called things up the
road arter me. I 'ad a snack at a coffee-shop for my dinner, but I
'adn't got much appetite for it; I was too full of trouble and finding
fault with myself, and I went off to my work with a 'art as heavy as
lead.
I suppose I 'adn't been on the wharf ten minutes afore Cap'n Smithers
came sidling up to me, but I got my spoke in fust.
“Look 'ere,” I ses, “if you're going to talk about that forward hussy
wot's been writing to you, I ain't. I'm sick and tired of 'er.”
“Forward hussy!” he ses. “_Forward hussy_!” And afore I could drop my
broom he gave me a punch in the jaw that pretty near broke it. “Say
another word against her,” he ses, “and I'll knock your ugly 'ead off.
How dare you insult a lady?”
I thought I should 'ave gone crazy at fust, but I went off into the
office without a word. Some men would ha' knocked 'im down for it, but I
made allowances for 'is state o' mind, and I stayed inside until I see
'im get aboard agin.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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