Night watches [complete]Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
Night watches [complete]
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
Humorous stories; Short stories
“But if you'll wait 'arf a tick I'll walk as far as the corner with
you,” he said, quickly. “I'd like to make sure it's all right.”
He paused at the foot of the stairs and, glancing up at the palid and
murderous face of Mr. Scutts, which protruded from the back bedroom,
smiled at him rapturously. Then, with a lordly air, he tossed him five
pieces of gold.
KEEPING WATCH
Human natur'!” said the night-watchman, gazing fixedly at a pretty girl
in a passing waterman's skiff. “Human natur'!”
He sighed, and, striking a match, applied it to his pipe and sat smoking
thoughtfully.
“The young fellow is pretending that his arm is at the back of her by
accident,” he continued; “and she's pretending not to know that it's
there. When he's allowed to put it round 'er waist whenever he wishes,
he won't want to do it. She's artful enough to know that, and that's why
they are all so stand-offish until the thing is settled. She'll move
forward 'arf an inch presently, and 'arf a minute arterwards she'll lean
back agin without thinking. She's a nice-looking gal, and what she can
see in a tailor's dummy like that, I can't think.”
He leaned back on his box and, folding his arms, emitted a cloud of
smoke.
“Human natur's a funny thing. I've seen a lot of it in my time, and if I
was to 'ave my life all over agin I expect I should be just as silly as
them two in the skiff. I've known the time when I would spend money as
free over a gal as I would over myself. I on'y wish I'd got all the
money now that I've spent on peppermint lozenges.
“That gal in the boat reminds me o' one I used to know a few years ago.
Just the same innercent baby look—a look as if butter wouldn't melt in
'er mouth—and a artful disposition that made me sorry for 'er sects.
“She used to come up to this wharf once a week in a schooner called the
_Belle_. Her father, Cap'n Butt, was a widow-man, and 'e used to bring
her with 'im, partly for company and partly because 'e could keep 'is
eye on her. Nasty eye it was, too, when he 'appened to be out o' temper.
“I'd often took a bit o' notice o' the gal; just giving 'er a kind smile
now and then as she sat on deck, and sometimes—when 'er father wasn't
looking—she'd smile back. Once, when 'e was down below, she laughed
right out. She was afraid of 'im, and by and by I noticed that she
daren't even get off the ship and walk up and down the wharf without
asking 'im. When she went out 'e was with 'er, and, from one or two
nasty little snacks I 'appened to overhear when the skipper thought I
was too far away, I began to see that something was up.
“It all came out one evening, and it only came out because the skipper
wanted my help. I was standing leaning on my broom to get my breath back
arter a bit o' sweeping, when he came up to me, and I knew at once, by
the nice way 'e spoke, that he wanted me to do something for 'im.
“'Come and 'ave a pint, Bill,' he ses.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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