"I learnt from Momus that another posthumous self of mine had arisen and, accordingly, I forthwith repaired to the place called London. (By the way, it is a queer place. It is neither a village, nor a town; neither a country, nor a desert; it is something of all, and much of neither.) In one of the streets I saw an inscription over a door--'Agency for amusements, theatres, blue bands, green bands, etc.' I did not quite understand what blue bands had to do with amusement, but I entered. "Behind the counter was a middle-aged man working busily at papers. I addressed him: 'Be cheerful!' "He looked at me in a curious fashion, evidently doubting the sanity of my mind. As a matter of fact, after a little while I could not help seeing that he was right. How _could_ I imagine him to be cheerful? "I asked him for the means of seeing a theatrical piece by Shaw. He offered a ticket, and wanted to know my name. I said 'Diogenes.' "He became impatient, and said: 'Diogenes--which? I mean, your family name?' "'I have no other name,' I said; 'don't you know, I am Diogenes who cut Alexander the Great?' "'Alexander the Great?' he said--'Why, I only know of a tailor, called Alexander the Great. Do you mean to tell me you cut him?' "'No,' I said; 'I do not. I mean Alexander, King of Macedon.' "Whereupon he contemptuously said: 'I never heard of the gentleman, and if he was a king of Macedon he has made a jolly fine mess of his country--just read about the Macedonian question in to-day's _Daily Telegraph_.' I wanted to ask him whether he was perchance Professor of History, but other people came in, and so I left. * * * * * "On the same evening I was shown the way to a theatre, and I understood that the piece given was _Arms and the Man_. I enjoyed myself immensely. "It is all very well to share the pleasures of Olympus with the gods. Yet, by all the Graces, whenever I hear or read reminiscences of my early youth, those unforgettable events and ideas of the time when I walked in the streets of Athens in the wake of my revered master Antisthenes, it gives me a thrill of pleasure,--I might almost say, a new shiver. "Just fancy, here I was sitting in far-off Britannia, over two thousand years after my mortal existence, listening to an oration--of Antisthenes, my master, which we used to call 'Kyros.' I see very well, O Ares, you remember the famous oration directed against you, against all the glories of War, because even now you frown on me, and I must ask Venus to keep you in check. I have received too many a whipping while I was at Athens and Corinth--pray let me in peace here in our temporary Olympus. "At present, as you well know, I have quite changed my ideas about war, and much as I may have disliked you before, at present I know that Apollo, Venus, you Ares, and Dionysus keep all mortal things agoing. But let us amuse ourselves with the contemplation of an oration of Antisthenes in modern Britannic.