The stage directions were equally simple. The curtain rises on a German raid. Noises off, etc.; the flashes of guns, the bursting of rum jars, the dazzling brilliance of flares lighting up the lowering night. On the entrance of the Hun into the trench (if he did), a watch would be kept on the hole (if any one was there to watch). On the sound of the first crash of breaking china, no action. On the sound of the second crash of breaking china, Percy himself (if alive) or a substitute (if not), would dash forward and cut the string. The trap-door would fall; and then, having repelled the Hun, they could return and examine the bag at their leisure. So much for the plot. Now for the action. It has always been my contention that Brigadier-General Herbert Firebrace rather brought it on himself. There are things which generals may do, and there are things which they may not; or shall we say, lest I be deemed guilty of _lese majeste_, things it were better they did not? All things to them are lawful, but all things most undoubtedly are not expedient. And no one--not even his most fervent admirer--could say that the General's action was a wise one. Let it be understood that when the more exalted ones of the earth desire to make a tour of trenches, there is a recognised procedure for doing it. First comes the sergeant of the platoon occupying the portion of the line under inspection--experience has shown the wisdom of having the only trustworthy guide in front. Then comes the company commander, followed by the Colonel, the Staff officer and the Great One. Immediately behind, the Adjutant (taking notes), the platoon commander (partially dazed), the machine-gun officer (not essential), and the Sapper (if he's been caught by the human avalanche) advance in echelon. At intervals the procession halts, and the same religious rite takes place. SERGEANT (_peering round the next traverse, in voice of fury_): "Don't drink tea out of yer tin 'at, yer perisher! 'Ere's the General a-coming." COLONEL (_prompted by company commander_): "Now from here, sir, we get a most magnificent field of fire behind--ah--those craters there. I thought that--where was it we decided?--oh, yes, by--ah--putting a Lewis gun here . . . er, well, perhaps you'd like to look yourself, sir." GREAT ONE: "Yes, very much. Have you got my periscope?" (_Staff officer produces, and Great One peers through it._) "I quite agree with you." (_After long inspection_) "You might make a note of it." STAFF OFFICER: "Just make a note of that, will you?" ADJUTANT (_makes note_): "Make a note of it, Bill, will you?" PLATOON COMMANDER (_recovering slightly from stupor_): "Make a note of what?" MACHINE-GUN OFFICER: "All right, old boy. It's my pidgeon." (_Sotto voce to SAPPER_) "I've had a gun there for the last two nights." (_Aloud to OMNES_) "An excellent place, sir. I'll see to it."