I next asked Lar Luk (translator on shocked voice) about his Company Loyalty. He said, "That's a lot of (CENSORED BY MY TRANSLATOR)! When in Rome, heh-heh...." It seems every civilized planet has an author who said something like "when in Rome, etc." "You didn't happen to try the grass roots, did you?" I asked with my translator in indifferent because I didn't want Lar Luk to get the idea I was eager and maybe try it himself. "Friend," admitted Lar Luk, "I tried everything. Without any success. Say, why don't you come into munitions with me? There's a whole colony of extra-halcyonian insurance salesmen going into munitions here. I could use a partner." That ended our conversation. I'm going to cold-canvas Rmpldecroidesanspertxkle in the morning. I'll keep in touch. Pessimistically, Sammy Trumple * * * * * XXX--SUBSPACEGRAM--XXX FROM HERMAN SPOTTSWORTH INTERSTELLAR DIVISION TERRAN INSURANCE COMPANY BALTIMEARTH XXX TO SAMMY TRUMPLE RMPLDECROIDESANSPERTXKLE HALCYON XXX DON'T GO GETTING ANY IDEAS FROM THIS LAR LUK FELLOW XXX REMEMBER YOUR COMPANY LOYALTY XXX REMEMBER OUR MOTTO XXX REMEMBER ALL THOSE PREMIUMS YOU HAVE TO PAY XXX THE CHIEF OF SALES WANTS RESULTS SOON XXX. I WANT RESULTS SOON XXX OTHERWISE HE'LL HAVE MY HEAD XXX I'LL HAVE YOUR HEAD SPOTTSWORTH XXX TRANSMITTED VIA ALPHA CENTAURI SUBSPACE STATION XXX SEND FLOWERS BY SUBSPACE TO ANY PART OF MILKYWAY GALAXY AT NO EXTRA COST XXX QUARTERLY SPECIAL: ARCHENAR III DRAGON BLOSSOMS XXX ALPHACENT XXX * * * * * Rmpldecroidesanspertxkle Halcyon Dear Boss: You don't have to worry about _my_ company loyalty. But still, no sales. Unfortunately, half of Rmpldecroidesanspertxkle was wiped out yesterday in an air-raid. I'm lucky I came through it with a whole skin. I went through the hospitals and first aid stations to canvas what was left of the population. They're just not buying. They can't--or refuse to--grasp the meaning of life insurance. The following conversation is typical: ME: But in a devastating war like this, you _need_ protection. Most other insurance companies wouldn't issue policies under the circumstances. You can consider it an interstellar public service by Terran Insurance. IT: What do I need life insurance for? ME: Don't you have a family? Loved ones? People you'd like to see cared for after your--uh--that is, if you're suddenly not around to take care of the bills and things, if you.... IT: You mean if I drop dead? ME: Yes, sir. IT: What the hell for? ME: One never knows when he is going to, uh, drop dead. IT: No. I mean what the hell do I want an insurance policy for? ME: Statistics demonstrate that everyone wants the security of a life insurance policy. IT: I don't.