His eyes followed a girl who passed with her officer brother. He would
have liked a healthy, pretty, jolly sort of girl like that to go about
with ... some girl with poise, and tone, and sanity, and no nerves, who
never bothered about the war or anything. A placid, indifferent, healthy
sort of girl, with all her fingers on and nothing the matter anywhere.
He was sick of hurt and damaged bodies and minds; his artistic instinct
and his natural vitality craved, in reaction, for the beautiful and the
whole and the healthy....
Looking up, he saw Alix standing at the corner of the Strand, leaning on
her ivory-topped stick and looking at him. She looked pale and thin and
frail and pretty in her blue coat and skirt and white collar. (The
Sandomirs never wore mourning.) He went up to her, a smile lifting his
brows.
'Good. I was just feeling bored. Let's come and have tea.'
Alix wasn't really altogether what he wanted. She was too nervy. Some
nerve in him which had been badly jarred by the long ugliness of those
months in France winced from contact with nervous people. Besides, he
suspected her of feeling the same shrinking from him: she so hated the
war and all its products. However, they had always amused each other;
she was clever, and nice to look at; he remembered vaguely that he had
been a little in love with her once, before the war. If the war hadn't
come just then, he might have become a great deal in love with her.
Before the war one had wanted a rather different sort of person, of
course, from now; more of a companion, to discuss things with; more of a
stimulant, perhaps, and less of a rest. He remembered that they had
discussed painting a great deal; he didn't want to discuss painting now,
since he had lost his finger. He didn't particularly want cleverness
either, since trench life, with its battery on the brain of sounds and
sights, had made him stupid....
However, he said, 'Let's come and have tea,' and she answered, 'Very
well, let's,' and they turned into something in the Strand called the
Petrograd Tea Rooms.
'I suppose one mustn't take milk in it here,' said Alix vaguely. She
looked him over critically as they sat down, and said, 'You don't _look_
much use yet.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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