Dramatists -- Fiction; London (England) -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
Standing where he could see her he thought that on this occasion she
threw into her scene, which was the best she had in the play, a brighter
art than ever before, a talent that could play with its problem. She was
perpetually doing things out of rehearsal (she did two or three to-night,
in the other man’s piece), that he as often wished to heaven Nona Vincent
might have the benefit of. She appeared to be able to do them for every
one but him—that is for every one but Nona. He was conscious, in these
days, of an odd new feeling, which mixed (this was a part of its oddity)
with a very natural and comparatively old one and which in its most
definite form was a dull ache of regret that this young lady’s unlucky
star should have placed her on the stage. He wished in his worst
uneasiness that, without going further, she would give it up; and yet it
soothed that uneasiness to remind himself that he saw grounds to hope she
would go far enough to make a marked success of Nona. There were strange
and painful moments when, as the interpretress of Nona, he almost hated
her; after which, however, he always assured himself that he exaggerated,
inasmuch as what made this aversion seem great, when he was nervous, was
simply its contrast with the growing sense that there _were_
grounds—totally different—on which she pleased him. She pleased him as a
charming creature—by her sincerities and her perversities, by the
varieties and surprises of her character and by certain happy facts of
her person. In private her eyes were sad to him and her voice was rare.
He detested the idea that she should have a disappointment or an
humiliation, and he wanted to rescue her altogether, to save and
transplant her. One way to save her was to see to it, to the best of his
ability, that the production of his play should be a triumph; and the
other way—it was really too queer to express—was almost to wish that it
shouldn’t be. Then, for the future, there would be safety and peace, and
not the peace of death—the peace of a different life. It is to be added
that our young man clung to the former of these ways in proportion as the
latter perversely tempted him. He was nervous at the best, increasingly
and intolerably nervous; but the immediate remedy was to rehearse harder
and harder, and above all to work it out with Violet Grey. Some of her
comrades reproached him with working it out only with her, as if she were
the whole affair; to which he replied that they could afford to be
neglected, they were all so tremendously good. She was the only person
concerned whom he didn’t flatter.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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