Cattle drives -- Fiction; Texas -- Fiction; Western stories
“So you wanted my signature to come back to you under the words ‘In full
to date.’ Is it in full to date? Well, we’ll part the better friends for
my having come here. And you thought I could not forgive!”
“Yes!” the girl broke out at last. “I thought you were the hardest,
coldest, cruelest man in all the world. I have seen only the savage side
of you.”
His face changed, grew suddenly sad; upon it came the melancholy
occasionally so notable on the face of another man of like trade, whom
he had met not long before in the North.
“I don’t think you can quite understand everything in the world all at
once, my dear,” said he. “I was set apart from men, because I had taken
on work to do. Home and the love of woman could not be for me. I was
nothing more than a priest—high priest of law and justice. My hands had
to be red. I knew I could never come to you feeling that it was right.”
His face was gray, he undertook to smile, bitterly.
“I was a killer!” he exclaimed. “I became that out of duty to my family
and my state. I knew what it meant—knew well enough. I couldn’t offer
you a hand red as mine. I thought a time surely would come when you’d
have a horror come over you, thinking of what I’d done. But I had to go
on with my work until it was done. I studied it. I shot away a thousand
pounds of lead, I used kegs of powder, in practice. And I studied
concentration. That was the only way I could be safe. Of course, I can’t
make you understand that. But I was playing in a game where I did not
dare lose. My life was up all the time and more than my life.”
Now he was turning away.
“You are going?” said she.
“Yes. The last of the open gang of thieves and outlaws is dead to-day.
The roads are open. The state can breathe. The great conspiracy is
ended. We’ve done our work. For those who are to benefit by it, what
difference if we do pass unknown and forgotten? Your father’s murderer
is dead. We did what we had to do. That was what I did—I did that
first, before I dared to think of beginning my own life for myself.
But——” And now he drew himself up.
She knew that he wanted to indicate to her something. Her eyes rested on
the whiteness of his linen. He saw the look.
“Yes,” said he, looking at his hands, “I’ve turned over a leaf. I have
thrown away my guns. Never while I live will I put them on again, either
here or in the North. I am no longer a hired killer. From where the sun
stands now I am done with that. I am McMasters, citizen, not officer.”
He had found his bridle reins, but did not go, could not go.
“You were talking about forgiveness,” said he, at length, with
difficulty. “Forgive you? Why, I have never done anything but that! Of
course, since I am going away, I ought to forget you; but I never shall.
All you have to do about me is to forget me. There are better men.”
The girl flared out at him with some sudden impulse which got beyond her
control.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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