"Be serious, will you, for a moment?" interposed the earnest officer. "I am serious. You ask me to sign a petition to change the solid principles on which the eternal order of events is founded; and I respectfully decline to do so, Mr. Beckwith. In other words, not for Joseph." "But you don't understand the matter, Scott." "You cast an imputation upon my perceptive faculties." "Nothing of the sort. You talk so fast that you won't hear what I have to say." "You say that the captain of this noble ship must either be selected or be chosen from the cabin officers. Am I right?" "You are." "I am not the captain of the ship this month; neither have I the honor to be one of the cabin officers; _ergo_ I cannot be elected captain for the month of June next ensuing." "You are certainly right; but--" "Then I understand the matter perfectly; and this movement is a conspiracy to prevent me from being captain next month. I deserve to be captain, and I respectfully submit that this is my inalienable right, inherent in the contract under which I was sent to school. I object, I protest, I denounce the vile scheme as a compact with infamy. By the way, Beckwith, I didn't think you would treat me in this unhandsome manner. We were always good friends, and I never did anything to injure you. And I was always willing to help you spend your money when I hadn't too much of my own to dispose of." "Come, Scott, be reasonable." "That's the very thing I ask of you--be reasonable, and don't try to cut my out of my chance of being Captain next month." "Of course you haven't any more chance of being captain than you have of being Czar of Russia next month." "Don't you think I should make a good czar?" "No doubt of it," laughed Beckwith. "Are you quite sure the Russians won't get up a revolution after they have seen me?" "If they only knew what a jolly good fellow you were, they would be likely to do so." "That's sensible; and I may go into the czar business, after all. And I may be captain next month, if you nobs don't cut me out of my rights." "But it is no worse for you than for any other fellow in the steerage. I may be where you are next month; then it will hit me as hard as it does you." "Ah! then you are sawing off your own nose--are you?" "For the general good, I am." "Noble, self-sacrificing creature! Receive the homage of a humble admirer." "You, or any other fellow in the steerage, may become a master, purser, or midshipman, by your merit, and then you may be captain, or a lieutenant, the next month." "But I shall have to wait a whole month before I can reach the summit of my lofty ambition. That's too long to wait." "I ask you to go with us for the public good."