"Your famous Roman sky seems to me a lunatic asylum without any
warders," said Regina to her husband; "a bedlam where the raging
clouds do whatever they like."
And that rainy winter proved one of the saddest in the young wife's
whole life. True, she loved Antonio; the first day he left her to
resume his work she felt a profound emptiness, and knew herself
henceforth attached to him as firmly as the bark to the tree. But
existence in the Casa Venutelli, association with her mother-in-law,
the presence of Sor Gaspare, the gloomy bedroom with those immense
arm-chairs, heavy as vulgar destiny, proved altogether unbearable.
And Rome was horrible under the continuous rain, which had something
malicious and mocking about it. People hurried through the streets,
their faces livid; the women showed petticoat-edges pasted with
mud; the heaven itself was soiled; and Regina's soul made shipwreck
amid this ocean of mud and water. She would come in drenched and
exasperated; within-doors it was cold; there was no fire, and there
was continual annoyance. She was uncomfortable at the table in those
high round chairs, opposite the sarcastic countenance of Massimo, Sor
Gaspare's red visage, the enormous panting bosom of Signora Anna. At
night she was worse off still on that lumpy mattress, in the cold air
which was pervaded by the rumble of the trams, and the melancholy
rolling of purposeless carriages.
Was this the life of Rome? Nay, was this Rome? What! This the famous
Corso--this narrow, smelly, mud-splashed street, with its carriage
loads of old and hideous women, its foot-passengers squashing and
treading upon each other like flocks of stupid sheep? And was this
St. Peter's? Regina had expected it larger. That the Pincio? It was
not beautiful. The Colosseum? She had supposed it more sublime. Where
were the grandeur and magnificence? She could discover neither;
everything appeared melancholy and hollow. She felt no astonishment
at anything except her own impressions, and found a dreary pleasure
in the thought that among all the provincials who came to Rome to be
overwhelmed, she alone saw things in their true light. Sometimes she
made exaggerated display of her own superiority; but self-examination
convinced her it was tainted by personal rancour, and she felt sadder
than ever. What was it she wanted? What did she expect? She felt sick
of some deep wound. In vain she told herself the winter would pass,
she would soon leave this distasteful house where everything seemed
to freeze and suffocate her. Alas! her own sweet home was never,
never, to be found again!
After hurried visits to monuments and museums, and a promise of more
leisurely re-inspection--promise made by all who fix their dwelling
in Rome, and seldom fulfilled under months and years--Regina and
Antonio began the (more interesting) round of _appartamenti_ to be
let.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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