Daylight was dying in the adjacent room, and the dining-room, which
looked out on the courtyard, was already overwhelmed in heavy shadow.
The open door made a band of feeble light across the passage of the
ante-room, while in its angles the penumbra continually darkened.
Watching it, Regina reflected.
"The penumbra! What a horrid thing is the penumbra! Horrid? No, it's
worse! It's noxious--soul-stifling! Better a thousand times the full
shadow, complete darkness. In the shadow there is grief, desperation,
rebellion--all that is life; but in this half-light it's all tedium,
want, agony. It's better to be a beggar than a little _bourgeois_.
The beggar can yell, can spit in the face of the prosperous. The
little _bourgeois_ is silent; he's a dead soul, he neither can nor
ought to speak. What does he want? Hasn't he got the competence
already, which some day every one is to have? His share is already
given to him. If he asks for more he's called ambitious, egotistic,
envious. Even the idiots call him so! Satin trains--green and shining
halls like gardens spread out in the sun--motors like flying dragons!
And the gardens, the beautiful gardens '_half seen through little
gates_,' country houses hidden among pines, like rosy women under
green lace parasols! That should be the heritage of the future, of
the to-morrow, promised us though not yet come. But no! all that
is to disappear! The world is small and can't be divided into more
than two parts, the day and the night, the light and the shade. But
some day it's to be all penumbra! Every one's to be like us, every
one's to live in a little dark Apartment with interminable stairs;
all the streets are to be dusty, overrun by smelly trams, by troops
of middle-class women who will go about on foot, dressed with sham
elegance, wearing mock jewellery, carrying paper fans; joyous with
a pitiable joy. The whole world will be tedium and destitution. The
beggars won't have attained to the dreams which made them happy; the
children of the rich will live on nostalgia, remembering the dream
which was once reality to them. What will be the good of living then?
Why am I living now?"
Then suddenly she remembered three figures, all exactly alike; three
figures of an old man in a dreary room, who smiled and looked at
each other with humorous sympathy, like three friends who understand
without need of words. Work! Work! There's the secret of life!
The voice of the old Senator resounded still in Regina's soul. Since
seeing him she had learned his story; his wife, a beautiful woman,
brilliant and young, had killed herself, for what reason none could
say. Work! Work! That was the secret! Perhaps the old Senator,
panegyrising the working woman, had been thinking of his wife who had
never worked.
Work! This was the secret of the world's future. All would eventually
be happy because all would work.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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