Not George Washington — an Autobiographical NovelWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Not George Washington — an Autobiographical Novel
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
It amuses me now to think that it was a good half-hour before I took
the trouble to cut the string. Fortune and happiness were waiting for
me in that parcel, and I would not bother to open it. I sat in my
chair, smoking and thinking, and occasionally cast a gloomy eye at the
parcel. But I did not open it. Then my pipe went out, and I found that
I had no matches in my pocket. There were some at the farther end of
the mantelpiece. I had to get up to reach them, and, once up, I found
myself filled with a sufficient amount of energy to take a knife from
the table and cut the string.
Languidly I undid the brown paper. The contents were a pile of
typewritten pages and a letter.
It was the letter over which my glassy eyes travelled first.
“My own dear, brave, old darling James,” it began, and its purport was
that she had written a play, and wished me to put my name to it and
hawk it round: to pass off as my work her own amateurish effort at
playwriting. Ludicrous. And so immoral, too. I had always imagined that
Margaret had a perfectly flawless sense of honesty. Yet here she was
asking me deliberately to impose on the credulity of some poor,
trusting theatrical manager. The dreadful disillusionment of it shocked
me.
Most men would have salved their wounded susceptibilities by putting a
match to the manuscript without further thought or investigation.
But I have ever been haunted by a somewhat over-strict conscience, and
I sat down there and then to read the stupid stuff.
At seven o’clock I was still reading.
My dinner was brought in. I bolted it with Margaret’s play propped up
against the potato dish.
I read on and on. I could not leave it. Incredible as it would appear
from anyone but me, I solemnly assure you that the typewritten nonsense
I read that evening was nothing else than _The Girl who Waited_.
CHAPTER 25
BRIGGS TO THE RESCUE
_(James Orlebar Cloyster’s narrative continued)_
I finished the last page, and I laid down the typescript reverently.
The thing amazed me. Unable as I was to turn out a good acting play of
my own, I was, nevertheless, sufficiently gifted with an appreciation
of the dramatic to be able to recognise such a play when I saw it.
There were situations in Margaret’s comedy which would grip a London
audience, and force laughter and tears from it.... Well, the public
side of that idiotic play is history. Everyone knows how many nights it
ran, and the Press from time to time tells its readers what were the
profits from it that accrued to the author.
I turned to Margaret’s letter and re-read the last page. She put the
thing very well, very sensibly. As I read, my scruples began to vanish.
After all, was it so very immoral, this little deception that she
proposed?
“I have written down the words,” she said; “but the conception is
yours. The play was inspired by you. But for you I should never have
begun it.” Well, if she put it like that——
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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