"That's my uncle." * * * * * Alas, what is terrible is not the skeletons, but the fact that I am no longer terrified by them. * * * * * A boy of good family, capricious, full of mischief, obstinate, wore out his whole family. The father, an official who played the piano, got to hate him, took him into a corner of the garden, flogged him with considerable pleasure, and then felt disgusted with himself. The son has grown up and is an officer. * * * * * N. courted Z. for a long time. She was very religious, and, when he proposed to her, she put a dried flower, which he had once given to her, into her prayer-book. * * * * * Z: "As you are going to town, post my letter in the letter-box." N: (alarmed) "Where? I don't know where the letter-box is." Z: "Will you also call at the chemist's and get me some naphthaline?" N: (alarmed) "I'll forget the naphthaline, I'll forget." * * * * * A storm at sea. Lawyers ought to regard it as a crime. * * * * * X. went to stay with his friend in the country. The place was magnificent, but the servants treated him badly, he was uncomfortable, although his friend considered him a big man. The bed was hard, he was not provided with a night shirt and he felt ashamed to ask for one. * * * * * At a rehearsal. The wife: "How does that melody in Pagliacci go? Whistle it." "One must not whistle on the stage; the stage is a temple." * * * * * He died from fear of cholera. * * * * * As like as a nail is to a requiem. * * * * * A conversation on another planet about the earth a thousand years hence. "Do you remember that white tree?" * * * * * Anakhthema! * * * * * Zigzagovsky, Oslizin, Svintchulka, Derbaliguin. * * * * * A woman with money, the money hidden everywhere, in her bosom and between her legs.... * * * * * All that procedure. * * * * * Treat your dismissal as you would an atmospheric phenomenon. * * * * * A conversation at a conference of doctors. First doctor: "All diseases can be cured by salt." Second doctor, military: "Every disease can be cured by prescribing no salt." The first points to his wife, the second to his daughter. * * * * * The mother has ideals, the father too; they delivered lectures; they built schools, museums, etc. They grow rich. And their children are most ordinary; spend money, gamble on the Stock Exchange. * * * * *