The use that Burton makes of the name of Euphormio is any thing but happy. He was not a "_trencher chaplain_" but the slave of a rich debauchée, Callion, sent in company with another slave, Percas, to carry some all-potent nostrum to Fibullius, a friend of Callion, who was suffering from an attack of stone. Euphormio cures Fibullius, not by the drug with which he was armed, but by a herb, which he sought for and found on a mountain. Fibullius, to reward his benefactor, offers him as a wife a most beautiful girl, whom he introduces to him privately while in his sick room. Euphormio looks with no little suspicion on the offer; but, after a few excuses, which are overruled by Fibullius, accepts the lady as his betrothed, "seals the bargain with a holy kiss," and walks out of the room (to use his own words) "et sponsus, et quod nesciebam--Pater," page 100. The next mention of this lady [evidently the prototype of the "crackt chambermaid,"] is in page 138. Callion had paid his sick friend Fibullius a visit, and, on the eve of his departure, had ordered Euphormio to ride post before him, and prepare the inhabitants of the districts through which he was to pass for his arrival. While Euphormio is on the horseblock in the act of mounting his steed, a rustic brings him a letter from Fibullius, and in conversation gives him such an account of his bride as forces upon him the reflection, that even the grim Libitina would be preferable, as a bride, to so confirmed a Thais, so fruitful a partner, as the _protegée_ of Fibullius would be likely to prove. But, as these _notes_ have, in spite of all my attempts at condensation, already grown to a most formidable size, I will not indulge in any moral reflections; but conclude by _querying_ you, or any of your readers, to inform me whether the personages mentioned in the _Euphorm. Lus. Satyricon_, such as Callion, Pereas, Fibullius, &c., are real characters or not? as, in the former case, I am inclined to think that the work might throw some interesting lights on the private manners and characters of some of the courtiers of the day. "No scandal against any of the maids of honour"--of course. The phrase "_To the halves_" (in the quotation from Burton) means, inadequate, insufficient; we still talk of "half and half" measures. Montanus inveighs against such "perturbations, that purge _to the halves_, tire nature, and molest the body to no purpose."--Burton, _Anat. of Mel._, part. ii. sect. 2. mem. 4. subsect. 6. MELANION.