never to come in for, alone could strike off; but what was of the finer
profit in it was less the direct illustration of the mighty mountebank
than of its being delightful on the part of a domestic character we so
respected to have had, with everything else a Bohemian past too--since I
couldn't have borne at such moments to hear it argued as not Bohemian.
What did his having dropped in after such a fashion and at a late
breakfast-hour on the glory of the footlights and the idol of the town,
what did it fall in with but the kind of thing one had caught glimpses
and echoes of from the diaries and memoirs, so far as these had been
subject to the passing peep, of the giftedly idle and the fashionably
great, the Byrons, the Bulwers, the Pelhams, the Coningsbys, or even,
for a nearer vividness perhaps, the N. P. Willises?--of all of whom it
was somehow more characteristic than anything else, to the imagination,
that they always began their day in some such fashion. Even if I cite
this as a fair example of one's instinct for making much of a
little--once this little, a chance handful of sand, could show the
twinkle of the objective, or even the reflective, grain of gold--I still
claim value for that instanced felicity, as I felt it, of being able to
yearn, thanks to whatever chance support, over Bohemia, and yet to have
proof in the paternal presence close at hand of how well even the real
frequentation of it, when achieved in romantic youth, might enable a
person at last to turn out. The lesson may now indeed seem to have been
one of those that rather more strictly adorn a tale than point a moral;
but with me, at that period, I think, the moral ever came first and the
tale more brilliantly followed. As for the recital, in such detail, of
the theme of a possible literary effort which the rest of my letter
represents, how could I feel this, when it had reached me, as anything
but a sign of the admirable anxiety with which thought could be taken,
even though "amateurishly," in my professional interest?--since
professional I by that time appeared able to pass for being. And how
above all can it not serve as an exhibition again of the manner in which
all my benevolent backer's inveterate original _malaise_ in face of
betrayed symptoms of the impulse to "narrow down" on the part of his
young found its solution always, or its almost droll simplification, as
soon as the case might reach for him a _personal_ enough, or "social"
enough, as he would have said, relation to its fruits? Then the malaise
might promptly be felt as changed, by a wave of that wand, to the
extremity of active and expatiative confidence.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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