[10] My youngest brother's ingenuity was to know as little rest during
much of his life as his strong faculty of agitation--to the employment
of which it was indeed not least remarkably applied. Many illustrations
of it would be to give, had I more margin; and not one of them anything
less than striking, thanks to the vivacity of his intelligence, the
variety of his gifts and the native ability in which he was himself so
much less interested than was the case with everyone he met, however
casually, that he became, many years before his death in 1910, our one
gentleman of leisure: so far as this condition might consort with the
easiest aptitude for admirable talk, charged with natural life,
perception, humour and colour, that I have perhaps ever known. There
were times when Bob's spoken overflow struck me as the equivalent, for
fine animation, of William's epistolary. The note of the ingenious in
him spent itself as he went, but I find an echo of one of its many
incidents in the passage of verse that I am here moved to rescue from
undue obscurity. It is too "amateurish" and has too many irregular
lines, but images admirably the play of spirit in him which after
ranging through much misadventure could at last drop to an almost
effective grasp of the happiest relation.
Although I lie so low and still
Here came I by the Master's will;
He smote at last to make me free,
As He was smitten on the tree
And nailed there. He knew of old
The human heart, and mine is cold;
And I know now that all we gain
Until we come to Him is vain.
Thy hands have never wrought a deed,
Thy heart has never known a need,
That went astray in His great plan
Since far-off days when youth began.
For in that vast and perfect plan
Where time is but an empty span
Our Master waits. He knows our want,
We know not his--till pale and gaunt
With weariness of life we come
And say to Him, What shall I be?
Oh Master, smite, but make me free
Perchance in these far worlds to know
The better thing we sought to be.
And then upon thy couch lie down
And fold the hands which have not sown;
And as thou liest there alone
Perhaps some breath from seraph blown
As soft as dew upon the rose
Will fall upon thee at life's close.
So thou wilt say, At last, at last!
All pain is love when pain is past!
And to the Master once again:
Oh keep my heart too weak to pray;
I ask no longer questions vain
Of life and love, of loss and gain--
These for the living are and strong;
I go to Thee, to Thee belong.
Once was I wakened by Thy light,
But years have passed, and now the night
Takes me to Thee. I am content;
So be it in Thy perfect plan
A mansion is where I am sent
To dwell among the innocent.
End of Project Gutenberg's Notes of a Son and Brother, by Henry James
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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