have succeeded in involving the least of the relations that seemed most
present to _him_; while those most present to myself, that is more
complementary to whatever it was I thought of as humanly most
interesting, attaching, inviting, were the ones his schemes of
importances seemed virtually to do without. Didn't I discern in this
from the first a kind of implied snub to the significance of mine?--so
that, in the blest absence of "pressure" which I just sought here
passingly to celebrate, I could brood to my heart's content on the so
conceivable alternative of a field of exposure crammed with those
objective appearances that my faculty seemed alone fitted to grasp. In
which there was ever the small torment of the fact--though I don't quite
see to-day why it should not have been of a purely pleasant
irritation--that what our parent most overflowed with was just the brave
contradiction or opposition between all his parts, a thing which made
for perfect variety, which he carried ever so easily and brightly, and
which would have put one no less in the wrong had one accused him of
knowing only the abstract (as I was so complacently and invidiously
disposed to name it) than if one had foolishly remarked on his living
and concluding without it. But I have already made clear his great mixed
range--which of course couldn't _not_ have been the sign of a mind
conceiving our very own breathing humanity in its every fibre the
absolute expression of a resident Divinity. No element of character, no
spontaneity of life, but instantly seized his attention and incurred his
greeting and his comment; which things could never possibly have been so
genially alert and expert--as I have, again, before this,
superabundantly recorded--if it had not fairly fed on active observation
and contact. He could answer one with the radiant when one challenged
him with the obscure, just as he could respond with the general when one
pulled at the particular; and I needn't repeat that this made for us,
during all our time, anything but a starved actuality.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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