Conrad, Joseph, 1857-1924; Essays; Literature -- History and criticism
decorations will be Louis-Quinze, of course, and the cafe shall remain
open all night. But what about the priceless Sevres porcelain and the
Venetian glass provided for the service of Transatlantic passengers?
Well, I am afraid all that will have to be replaced by silver goblets and
plates. Nasty, common, cheap silver. But those who _will_ go to sea
must be prepared to put up with a certain amount of hardship.
And there shall be no boats. Why should there be no boats? Because Pooh-
Bah has said that the fewer the boats, the more people can be saved; and
therefore with no boats at all, no one need be lost. But even if there
was a flaw in this argument, pray look at the other advantages the
absence of boats gives you. There can't be the annoyance of having to go
into them in the middle of the night, and the unpleasantness, after
saving your life by the skin of your teeth, of being hauled over the
coals by irreproachable members of the Bar with hints that you are no
better than a cowardly scoundrel and your wife a heartless monster. Less
Boats. No boats! Great should be the gratitude of passage-selling
Combines to Pooh-Bah; and they ought to cherish his memory when he dies.
But no fear of that. His kind never dies. All you have to do, O
Combine, is to knock at the door of the Marine Department, look in, and
beckon to the first man you see. That will be he, very much at your
service--prepared to affirm after "ten years of my best consideration"
and a bundle of statistics in hand, that: "There's no lesson to be
learned, and that there is nothing to be done!"
On an earlier day there was another witness before the Court of Inquiry.
A mighty official of the White Star Line. The impression of his
testimony which the Report gave is of an almost scornful impatience with
all this fuss and pother. Boats! Of course we have crowded our decks
with them in answer to this ignorant clamour. Mere lumber! How can we
handle so many boats with our davits? Your people don't know the
conditions of the problem. We have given these matters our best
consideration, and we have done what we thought reasonable. We have done
more than our duty. We are wise, and good, and impeccable. And whoever
says otherwise is either ignorant or wicked.
This is the gist of these scornful answers which disclose the psychology
of commercial undertakings. It is the same psychology which fifty or so
years ago, before Samuel Plimsoll uplifted his voice, sent overloaded
ships to sea. "Why shouldn't we cram in as much cargo as our ships will
hold? Look how few, how very few of them get lost, after all."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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