Janey had the doubtful advantage over other women that men (by men I
mean Roger) always knew where to find her. She was as immovable as the
church or the Rieben. It was absolutely certain that unless Lady Louisa
was worse, Janey would come down to the library at nine o'clock, and
work there beside the lamp for an hour before going to bed. The element
of surprise or uncertainty did not exist as far as Janey was concerned.
And perhaps those who are always accessible, tranquil, disengaged, ready
to lend a patient and sympathetic ear, know instinctively that they will
be sought out in sorrow and anxiety rather than in joy. We do not engage
a trained nurse for picnic parties, or ask her to grace the box seat
when we are driving our four-in-hands. Annette is singled out at once
as appropriate to these festive occasions. If anyone thought of Janey in
connection with them, it was only to remark that she would not care
about them. How many innocent pleasures she had silently wished for in
her time which she had been informed by her mother, by Dick, even by
Roger, were not in her line.
To-night, Janey deviated by a hairbreadth from her usual routine. She
came down, seated herself, and instead of her work took up a book with
the marker half-way through it, and was at once absorbed in it. She was
reading _The Magnet_ for the second time.
Since her conversation with Mr. Stirling in the Hulver garden, Janey had
read _The Magnet_, and her indifference had been replaced by a riveted
attention. She saw now what other people saw in his work, and it seemed
to her, as indeed it seemed to all Mr. Stirling's readers, that his
books were addressed to her and her alone. It did not occur to her that
he had lived for several years in her neighbourhood without her
detecting or even attempting to discern what he was. It did not occur to
her that he might have been a great asset in her narrow life. She was
quite content with being slightly acquainted with every one except
Roger, and her new friend Annette. She tacitly distrusted intimacy, as
did Roger, and though circumstances had brought about a certain intimacy
with Annette, the only girl within five miles, she had always mental
reservations even with her, boundaries which were not to be passed.
Janey had been inclined to take shelter behind these mental
reservations, to raise still higher the boundary walls between them,
since she had known what she called "the truth about Annette." She had
shrunk from further intercourse with her, but Annette had sought her
out, deliberately, persistently, with an unshaken confidence in Janey's
affection which the latter had not the heart to repel. And in the end
Janey had reached a kind of forlorn gratitude towards Annette. Her life
had become absolutely empty: the future stretched in front of her like
some flat dusty high road, along which she must toil with aching feet
till she dropped. She instinctively turned to Annette, and then shrank
from her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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