"I thought at first he was trying to be sarcastic, but he wasn't. That
man sat there, and wrestled with me for my advice as to whether he should
invest a thousand dollars which Julia's father had offered to lend him,
in the purchase of a laundry business or a bar. He hadn't had enough of
it (my advice, I mean); he wanted it again, and he spun me reasons why I
should give it him. The choice of a wife was a different thing
altogether, he argued. Perhaps he ought _not_ to have asked me for my
opinion as to that. But advice as to which of two trades a man would do
best to select, surely any business man could give. He said he had just
been reading again my little book, _How to be Happy_, etc., and if the
gentleman who wrote that could not decide between the respective merits
of one particular laundry and one particular bar, both situate in the
same city, well, then, all he had got to say was that knowledge and
wisdom were clearly of no practical use in this world whatever.
"Well, it did seem a simple thing to advise a man about. Surely as to a
matter of this kind, I, a professed business man, must be able to form a
sounder judgment than this poor pumpkin-headed lamb. It would be
heartless to refuse to help him. I promised to look into the matter, and
let him know what I thought.
"He rose and shook me by the hand. He said he would not try to thank me;
words would only seem weak. He dashed away a tear and went out.
"I brought an amount of thought to bear upon this thousand-dollar
investment sufficient to have floated a bank. I did not mean to make
another Hannah job, if I could help it. I studied the papers Josiah had
left with me, but did not attempt to form any opinion from them. I went
down quietly to Josiah's city, and inspected both businesses on the spot.
I instituted secret but searching inquiries in the neighbourhood. I
disguised myself as a simple-minded young man who had come into a little
money, and wormed myself into the confidence of the servants. I
interviewed half the town upon the pretence that I was writing the
commercial history of New England, and should like some particulars of
their career, and I invariably ended my examination by asking them which
was their favourite bar, and where they got their washing done. I stayed
a fortnight in the town. Most of my spare time I spent at the bar. In
my leisure moments I dirtied my clothes so that they might be washed at
the laundry.
"As the result of my investigations I discovered that, so far as the two
businesses themselves were concerned, there was not a pin to choose
between them. It became merely a question of which particular trade
would best suit the Hacketts.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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