These are all clever efforts, and demand consummate powers, at the
hand of him who makes them; but what are they to that deep and critical
research with which he seems, instinctively, to sound the depths of
every scientific walk in life, and every learned profession. Hear him
in a lunacy case--listen to the deep and subtle distinctions he draws
between the symptoms of mere eccentricity and erring intellect--remark
how insignificant the physician appears in the case, who has made these
things the study of a life long--hear how the barrister confounds him
with a hail-storm of technicals--talking of the pineal gland as if it
was an officer of the court, and of atrophy of the cerebral lobes, as
if he was speaking of an attorney's clerk. Listen to him in a trial of
supposed death by poison; what a triumph he has there, particularly if
he be a junior barrister--how he walks undismayed among all the tests
for arsenic--how little he cares for Marsh's apparatus and Scheele's
discoveries--hydro-sulphates, peroxydes, iodurates, and proto-chlorides
are familiar to him as household words. You would swear that he was
nursed at a glass retort, and sipped his first milk through a blow-pipe.
Like a child who thumps the keys of a pianoforte, and imagines himself
a Liszt or Moschelles, so does your barrister revel amid the phraseology
of a difficult science--pelting the witnesses with his insane blunders,
and assuring the jury that their astonishment means ignorance.
[Illustration: 117a]
Nothing in anatomy is too deep--nothing in chemistry too subtle--no
fact in botany too obscure--no point in metaphysics too difficult. Like
Dogberry, these things are to him but the gift of God; and he knows
them at his birth. Truly, the chancellor is a powerful magician; and the
mystic words by which he calls a gentleman to the bar, must have some
potent spell within them.
[Illustration: 117b]
The youth you remember as if it were yesterday, the lounger at evening
parties, or the chaperon of tiding damsels to the Phoenix, comes forth
now a man of deep and consummate acquirement--he whose chemistry went
no further than the composition of a “tumbler of punch,” can now perform
the most difficult experiments of Orfila or Davy, or explain the causes
of failure in a test that has puzzled the scientific world for half
a century. He knows the precise monetary value of a deserted maiden's
affections--he can tell you the exact sum, in bank notes, that a widow
will be knocked down for, when her heart has been subject to but a feint
attack of Cupid.
[Illustration: 118]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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