And they are sure to miscalculate whenever they inter-meddle with such matters, declined entering her two sons at Cambridge in the same year, that, as she said, "They might not stand in each other's way." _Id est_, they were to be both _senior wranglers_. They, however, never caught sight of the _goal_. I recollect, on one occasion, the second son being _floored_ in his college mathematical examination. He was said to have afterwards carried home the paper (containing twenty-two difficult geometrical and other problems,) when one of his sisters snatched it out of his hand, exclaiming, "Give it to me," and, without the slightest hesitation (in good Cambridge phrase,) she "_floored_" the whole of them, to his dismay. This lady was one of a bevy of ten beauties whom their mamma compassionately brought to Cambridge to _dance_ with the young _gentlemen_ of the University at her parties, and after so officiating for some three or four years, notwithstanding they were all _Blues_, and had corresponding names, from _Britannia_ to _Boadicea_, the Cantabs suffered them all to depart _spinsters_. But Papas also sometimes overrate their sons' talents and virtues. A gentleman, a few years since, on PRESENTING HIS FAVOURITE SON To the sub-rector of a certain College in Oxford, as a new member, did so with the observation, "Sir, he is _modest_, _diffident_, and _clever_, and will _be an example to the whole College_." "I am glad of it," was the reply, "we want such men, and I am honoured, sir, by your bringing him here." Papa made his exit, well pleased with our Welshman's hospitality, for of that country our Sub-Rector, as well as the gentleman in question was. The former, too, had been a chaplain in Lord Nelson's fleet, in his younger days, and was not over orthodox in his language, when _irritated_, though a man with a better heart it would have puzzled the Grecian sage to have traced out by candle-light. A month had scarcely passed over, when Papa, having occasion to pass through Oxon, called on the Sub-Rector, of course, and naturally inquired, "How his son demeaned himself?" "You told me, sir," said the Sub-Rector, in a pet, and a speech such as the quarter-deck of a man-of-war had schooled him in; "you told me, sir, that your son was _modest_, but d--n his _modesty!_ you told me, sir, he was _diffident_, but d--n his _diffidence!_ you told me, sir, he was clever; he's the greatest dunce of the whole society! you told me, sir, he would prove an example to the whole college: but I tell you, sir, that he is neither _modest_, _diffident_ nor _clever_, and in three weeks," added the Sub-Rector, raising his voice to a becoming pitch, "he has ruined half the College by his example!" We can scarcely do better than add to this, by way of tail-piece, from that loyal Oxford scourge _Terræ Filius_ (ed. 1726)--(to be read, "cum grano," and some allowance for the excited character of the times in which it was written)--