ITER ACADEMICUM; OR, THE GENTLEMAN COMMONER'S MATRICULATION. Being of age to play the fool, With muckle glee I left our school At _Hoxton_; And, mounted on an easy pad, Rode with my mother and my dad To _Oxon_. Conceited of my parts and knowledge, They entered me into a college _Ibidem_. The master took me first aside, Showed me a scrawl--I read, and cried _Do Fidem_. Gravely he took me by the fist, And wished me well--we next request A tutor. He recommends a staunch one, who In _Perkins'_ cause had been his Co- Adjutor. To see this precious stick of wood, I went (for so they deemed it good) In fear, Sir; And found him swallowing loyalty, Six deep his bumpers, which to me Seemed queer, Sir. He bade me sit and take my glass; I answered, looking like an ass, I can't, Sir. Not drink!--You don't come here to pray! The merry mortal said, by way Of answer. To pray, Sir! No, my lad; 'tis well! Come, here's our friend _Sacheverell_; Here's _Trappy_! Here's _Ormond!_ _Marr!_ in short, so many Traitors we drank, it made my _crani- um_ nappy. And now, the company dismissed, With this same sociable Priest, Or Fellow, I sallied forth to deck my back With loads of _stuff_, and gown of black _Prunello_. My back equipt, it was not fair My head should 'scape, and so, as square As _chess-board_, A _cap_ I bought, my scull to screen, Of cloth without, and all within Of _paste-board_. When metamorphosed in attire, More like a parson than a squire They'd dressed me. I took my leave, with many a tear, Of _John_, our man, and parents dear, Who blest me. The master said they might believe him, So righteously (the Lord forgive him!) He'd govern. He'd show me the extremest love, Provided that I did not prove Too stubborn. So far so good; but now _fresh fees_ Began (for so the custom is) My ruin. Fresh fees! with drink they knock you down; You spoil your clothes, and your new gown You sp-- in. I scarce had slept--at six--tan tin The bell goes--servitor comes in-- Gives warning. I wished the scoundrel at old Nick; I puked, and went to prayers d--d sick That morning. One who could come half drunk to prayer They saw was entered, and could swear