At random; Would bind himself, as they had done, To statutes, tho' he could not un- derstand 'em. Built in the form of _pigeon-pye_, A house[A] there is for rooks to lie And roost in. Their laws, their articles of grace, _Forty_, I think, save half a brace, Was willing To swear to; swore, engaged my soul, And paid the _swearing broker_ whole _Ten shilling_. Full half a pound I paid him down, To live in the most p--d town O' th' nation: May it ten thousand cost _Lord Phyz_, For never forwarding his vis- itation. [A] Theatre * * * * * A STORY Is told, and, "in the days that are gone," is not at all improbable, that a youth being brought to Oxon, after he had paid the Tutor and other the several College and University fees, was told he must _subscribe to the Thirty-nine Articles_; "with all my heart," said our freshman, "pray how much is it?" * * * * * FRESHMEN OFTEN AFFORD MIRTH To both tutors, scholars, scouts, gyps, and others, by their blunders. They will not unfrequently, upon the first tingle of the college bell (though it always rings a quarter of an hour, by way of warning, on ordinary occasions, and half an hour on saints' days, in Cambridge,) hurry off to hall or chapel, with their gowns the wrong side outwards, or, their caps reversed, walk unconsciously along with the hind part before, as I once heard a _soph_ observe, "the peak smelling thunder." They are also very apt to mistake characters and functionaries:--I have seen a freshman _cap_ the college-butler, taking him for _bursar_ at least. The persons to be so complimented are the Chancellor, the Vice-Chancellor, the Proctors, the head of your college, and your tutors. When the late Bishop Mansell was Vice-Chancellor of Cambridge, he one day met two freshmen in Trumpington-street, who passed him unheeded. The Bishop was not a man to '_bate_ an iota of his due, and stopped them and asked, "If they knew he was the Vice-Chancellor?" They blushingly replied, they did not, and begged his pardon for omitting to _cap_ him, observing they _were freshmen_. "How long have you been in Cambridge?" asked the witty Bishop. "Only eight days," was the reply. "In that case I must excuse you; puppies never see till they are _nine_ days old." * * * * * ANOTHER FRESHMAN