Nye and Riley's Wit and Humor (Poems and Yarns)Riley, James Whitcomb
General
Nye and Riley's Wit and Humor (Poems and Yarns)
Riley, James Whitcomb
American wit and humor
He was a very tall man and a very awkward man, with large, intellectual
joints and a sad face. When he got so that he could read a little I went
in to hear him one day. He stood up like an exaggerated schoolboy, and
while he bored holes in the page of his primer with a long and corneous
forefinger he read that little poem:
Pray tell me, bird, what you can see
Up in the top of that tall tree?
Have you no fear that some rude boy
May come and mar your peace and joy?
* * * * *
Oh, no, my child, I fear no harm,
While with my song I thus can charm.
My mate is here, my youngsters, too,
And here we sit and sing to you.
Finally, the regular term of the District Court opened. Men who had come
for a long distance to vaunt their ignorance and other qualifications as
jurors could be seen on the streets. Here and there you could see the
familiar faces of those who had served as jurors for years and yet had
never lost a case. Wealthy delinquents began to subpoena large
detachments of witnesses at the expense of the county, and the poor
petty larceny people in the jail began to wonder why their witnesses
didn't show up. Slowly the wheels of Justice began to revolve. Ever and
anon could be heard the strident notes which came from the room where
the counsel for the defense was filing his objections, while now and
then the ear was startled with the low quash of the indictment.
Finally the case of the Territory against William Johnson was called.
"Mr. Johnson," asked Judge Blair, "have you counsel?"
The defendant said he had not.
"Are you able to employ counsel?"
He evidently wasn't able to employ counsel twenty minutes, even if it
could be had at a dollar a day.
"Do you wish to have the Court appoint counsel for you?"
He saw no other way, so he said yes.
Where criminals are too poor to employ counsel the Court selects a poor
but honest young lawyer, who practices on the defendant. I was appointed
that way myself once to defend a man who swears he will kill me as soon
as he gets out of the penitentiary.
William Johnson was peculiarly unfortunate in the election of his
counsel. The man who was appointed to defend him was a very much
overestimated young man who started the movement himself. He was
courageous, however, and perfectly willing to wade in where angels would
naturally hang back. His brain would not have soiled the finest fabric,
but his egotism had a biceps muscle on it like a loaf of Vienna bread.
He was the kind of young man who loves to go and see the drama and
explain it along about five minutes in advance of the company in a loud,
trenchant voice.
He defended William Johnson. Thus in the prime of life, hardly
understanding a word of the trial, stunned, helpless, alone, the latter
began upon his term of five years in the penitentiary. His patient,
gentle face impressed me as it did others, and his very helplessness
thus became his greatest help.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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