O'Flaherty V.C.: A Recruiting Pamphlet — John Shaqi
O'Flaherty V.C.: A Recruiting PamphletShaw, Bernard
General
O'Flaherty V.C.: A Recruiting Pamphlet
Shaw, Bernard
Comedy plays; Ireland -- Drama; World War, 1914-1918 -- Ireland -- Drama; World War, 1914-1918 -- Veterans -- Drama
MRS O'FLAHERTY. Sure he has that, your honor. God bless your honor! [The
General being now out of hearing, she turns threateningly to her
son with one of those sudden Irish changes of manner which amaze and
scandalize less flexible nations, and exclaims.] And what do you mean,
you lying young scald, by telling me you were going to fight agen the
English? Did you take me for a fool that couldn't find out, and the
papers all full of you shaking hands with the English king at Buckingham
Palace?
O'FLAHERTY. I didn't shake hands with him: he shook hands with me. Could
I turn on the man in his own house, before his own wife, with his money
in my pocket and in yours, and throw his civility back in his face?
MRS O'FLAHERTY. You would take the hand of a tyrant red with the blood
of Ireland--
O'FLAHERTY. Arra hold your nonsense, mother: he's not half the tyrant
you are, God help him. His hand was cleaner than mine that had the blood
of his own relations on it, maybe.
MRS O'FLAHERTY [threateningly]. Is that a way to speak to your mother,
you young spalpeen?
O'FLAHERTY [stoutly]. It is so, if you won't talk sense to me. It's a
nice thing for a poor boy to be made much of by kings and queens, and
shook hands with by the heighth of his country's nobility in the capital
cities of the world, and then to come home and be scolded and insulted
by his own mother. I'll fight for who I like; and I'll shake hands with
what kings I like; and if your own son is not good enough for you, you
can go and look for another. Do you mind me now?
MRS O'FLAHERTY. And was it the Belgians learned you such brazen
impudence?
O'FLAHERTY. The Belgians is good men; and the French ought to be more
civil to them, let alone their being half murdered by the Boshes.
MRS O'FLAHERTY. Good men is it! Good men! to come over here when they
were wounded because it was a Catholic country, and then to go to the
Protestant Church because it didn't cost them anything, and some of them
to never go near a church at all. That's what you call good men!
O'FLAHERTY. Oh, you're the mighty fine politician, aren't you? Much you
know about Belgians or foreign parts or the world you're living in, God
help you!
MRS O'FLAHERTY. Why wouldn't I know better than you? Amment I your
mother?
O'FLAHERTY. And if you are itself, how can you know what you never seen
as well as me that was dug into the continent of Europe for six months,
and was buried in the earth of it three times with the shells bursting
on the top of me? I tell you I know what I'm about. I have my own
reasons for taking part in this great conflict. I'd be ashamed to stay
at home and not fight when everybody else is fighting.
MRS O'FLAHERTY. If you wanted to fight, why couldn't you fight in the
German army?
O'FLAHERTY. Because they only get a penny a day.
MRS O'FLAHERTY. Well, and if they do itself, isn't there the French
army?
O'FLAHERTY. They only get a hapenny a day.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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