American fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, American -- Periodicals
Judith Todd, when she had left the house and her mother behind her,
became as usual a thing with wings on her feet. She flew toward the
Subway entrance, her dark eyes eager, her chin outthrust, her tall
figure leaning forward as if the waiting to get there was intolerable.
Sometimes she took a quick and happy look up at the sky, as a girl may
who is hastening to meet a lover.
At Columbus Circle she came up to the surface and walked quickly across
to a certain somewhat shabby studio building. Usually she could not
reach it quickly enough; but to-night she passed the door twice, and
finally stepped into the shadow of another doorway to have it out with
herself. She told herself that to-night was not different from any other
Tuesday or Thursday night, and she was a fool to be so excited. But all
day it had hung over her, a prescience that this was the most important
hour of her life. She longed for it, and she dreaded it terribly. If it
brought her disappointment it would be no ordinary disappointment; it
would mean the death of something in her without which her life would
become merely an existence--hope. To-night she realized that she had
never really lost it--hope--and an undying belief in her own genius.
But to-night could kill them both, or it could turn them into strength
and glory. She clenched her hands into the pockets of her old serge
jacket and set her lips in their lines of endurance.
The coloured boy in the elevator smiled at her and eyed the sprig of
lilac in her buttonhole. She had taken it from the supper table and
completely forgotten it until this instant.
“Looks like summer’s comin’,” he drawled.
She held the flower out to him.
“For luck,” she smiled.
Then at the top floor she went on down the short hall to the door behind
which every Tuesday and Thursday night she came to life.
With her hand on the knob, she heard voices within. She shrank back. So,
already it was here, the life or death of her hope, waiting there beyond
the door. She had expected to have a half hour to herself, to quiet in
work this sickening tremor of her heart. Well, nothing for it now but to
harden herself for whatever verdict those voices in there would soon
utter. She threw her head back defiantly and opened the door.
Three men were in the high, bare studio, standing about a long table.
They turned toward her at the sound of her entrance, and one of them, a
tall, thin man of forty, with quiet eyes and a sensitive mouth, came
quickly forward to meet her. But she looked past him toward the table on
which stood ten or twelve little figures, some of them still mere lumps
of clay. Not even in this moment could she keep her eyes from them, the
objects into which she had poured herself in delight and in suffering.
The tall man, John Richmond, followed her glance with understanding.
“You see, I got them back safely; and these gentlemen asked to meet
you.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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