American fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, American -- Periodicals
It occurred to him with a start that theirs was the same war as his
now. Twenty-five miles ahead of him, buried somewhere in rat runs,
between Bapaume and Cambrai, it went on and on, waiting for him to
come--waiting to claw and maim and snuff him out when he did come.
It had seemed so far away from him in England. When he was at ground
school he had seen it as a place where one did glorious things--he was
young, pitifully young--a place that one came back from with ribbons
under one’s wings, with nice clean scratches decently bandaged. And he
had been slightly offended at his brother’s attitude--at the things his
brother had said of the staff. Then he had gone to Upavon to learn to
fly. He had soloed for the first time, and the spot of fear had crawled
into his own heart.
They were rattling into the broken streets of a tottering town; a town
that leered at them and grimaced through blackened gaps in its once
white walls. There was a patched-up _estaminet_ with a tattered yellow
awning that tried bravely to smile.
“Albert,” said the driver.
The new pilot nodded. Some sapper officers were loitering in the
doorways of the café. Their uniforms were faded to a rusty brown and
reënforced with leather at the cuffs and elbows. Their buttons were
leather, too, to save polishing, and their badges were a dull bronze.
He looked down at his white Bedford-cord breeches and the spotless
skirts of his fur-collared British warm--privileges of the flying corps
that men envied. Baths, clean clothing, and better food. The P. B.
I.’s idea of heaven. They called flyers lucky for their privileges and
cursed them a little bit for their dry beds and the wines they had in
their messes, miles behind the line.
The new pilot wondered if they knew what it meant to be alone in
the stabbing cold with no one to talk to, no one to help you,
nothing between you and the ground save a thin, trembling fabric of
cloth and wire and twenty thousand feet of emptiness. That was his
fear--emptiness--nothingness--solitude. Those men under the awning
could die in company. Not so himself--alone, screaming into the cloud
voids, with no one to hear, no one to help, staring with glazed eyes
and foam-flecked lips at the emptiness into which one hurtled to death
miles below. The price one paid for a bath! He remembered seeing
Grahame-White fly at Southport before the war. People had called him an
intrepid aviator. The new pilot laughed harshly inside his throat and
stared out across the bare fields.
The car topped a slight rise and turned sharply to the left. The driver
pointed his grubby finger. “They be comin’ in from affernoon patrol,”
he said. “Yonder is airdrome.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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