Russia -- Social life and customs -- 1533-1917 -- Fiction
Frequently, in summer, one goes to sleep while the weather is still
and cloudless, and the stars are glimmering softly. “How beautiful the
countryside will look to-morrow under the bright beams of morning!” one
thinks to oneself. “And how glad one will be to dive into the depths of
the forest and seek refuge from the heat!” Then suddenly one awakes to
the beating of rain, to the sight of grey, mournful clouds, to a sense
of cold and damp.
In Oblomov’s breast the poison was working swiftly and vigorously. In
thought he reviewed his life, and for the hundredth time felt his heart
ache with repentance and regret for what he had lost. He kept picturing
to himself what, by now, he would have been had he strode boldly ahead,
and lived a fuller and a broader life, and exerted his faculties; whence
he passed to the question of his present condition, and of the means
whereby Olga had contrived to become fond of him, and of the reason why
she still was so. “Is she not making a mistake?” was a thought which
suddenly flashed through his mind like lightning; and as it did so the
lightning seemed to strike his heart, and to shatter it. He groaned with
the pain. “Yes, she _is_ making a mistake,” he kept saying again and
again. “She merely loves me as she works embroidery on canvas. In a
quiet, leisurely manner a pattern has evolved itself, and she has turned
it over, and admired it. Soon she will lay it aside, and forget all
about it. Yes, her present affection is a mere _making ready_ to fall in
love, a mere experiment of which I am the subject, for the reason that
I chanced to be the first subject to come to hand.” So he collated the
circumstances, and compared them. Never would she have noticed him
at all, had not Schtoltz pointed him out, and infected her young.
impressionable heart with sympathy for his (Oblomov’s) position, and
therefore implanted in her a desire to see if possibly she could shake
that dreamy soul from its lethargy before leaving it once more to its
own devices.
“Yes, that is how the case stands,” he said to himself with an access of
revulsion. He rose and lit a candle with a trembling hand. “’Tis
just that and nothing more. Her heart was ready to accept love--it was
tensely awaiting it--and I happened to fall in her way, and at the same
time to fall into a blunder. Only would some one else need to arrive for
her to renounce that blunder. As soon as ever she saw that some one else
she would turn from me with horror. In fact, I am stealing what belongs
to another; I am no better than a thief. My God, to think that I should
have been so blind!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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